


I'm Still Here

by BiziBee



Category: Stardew Valley
Genre: Dark Past, Gay Male Character, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiziBee/pseuds/BiziBee
Summary: After enduring years of slaving away at a job he hates, dealing with his damaged past and a controlling, abusive ex, Pepper Maxwell decides it's high time for a change in his life. Luckily, a little sealed envelope tucked away in his room holds the key to the fresh start that he so desperately needs and desires. Meanwhile, Shane's been trying his best to manage the trainwreck that is his life, not finding himself at all as excited as the other townspeople when the new farmer arrives. Maybe, just maybe, this second chance will end up being something for both individuals.





	1. Prologue

Rain pattered against the frosted windowpanes, sounding almost like small pebbles hitting the glass. A warm fire however, took away from the outside weather, rippling in place as another log was thrown into it, and a teen boy poked at it with a fireplace poker. He stepped back, sighing, as he cast a glare over to a plaid chair where a four year old girl with curly red hair lay fast asleep, a knitted blanket thrown across her tiny body.  
  
The boy sighed, walking over, and tucked the blanket just a snug closer to the girl's chin. She gave a small moan and turned aside, gripping tightly at a stuffed bear. A little smile crossed the boy's face, until a haggard coughing sound from nearby turned his attention to where a woman was sitting on a stool, next to a bed in the darkened corner of the room.  
  
She seemed to sense his attention and looked back at him, giving him a weak, yet sad smile.

She said nothing else.  
  
The coughing sounded again, and she looked back down at the individual who lay in the bed. An old man, whose worn, thin hand was held in her own, as she gently carressed it. The man looked up at her, reaching his own hand up to touch her face. The smile she'd put on her for her son became thin, as upon closer inspection, you could see she was struggling to hold back tears.  
  
"Hey, Dad...how you holding up?" Her voice almost broke as she spoke, causing the boy to look over again. He turned his gaze to the fireplace.

The man didn't speak at first, he only cupped his hand around the woman's face, pressing his thumb against the tear trickling down her cheek. Though weakly, he nodded.  
  
"My granddaughter." His voice came out hoarse as he spoke. "Let me see her now."  
  
"Now?" The woman gulped back her tears. She spared a glance back to where the little girl was asleep. She bit her lip, and looked back at the old man.  
  
"She's asleep, Dad...I don't know if--"  
  
"Please, Carrie Anne." The man coughed again, more violently this time. "Just let me see her. I haven't given her her present yet..."  
  
Carrie Anne's upper teeth remained pressed on her lip. After a whole moment, she looked back to her son, who was standing at the fireplace. He looked over at her, not saying anything.  
  
"Wake your sister. Grandpa wants to see her." she said.  
  
A look of worry suddenly crossed the boy's face, but he still didn't say anything. He only nodded back, headed over to the plaid chair, and placed his hand on the girl's shoulder. Gently shaking it.  
  
"Hey...Pep, wake up." he prodded.  
  
Her green eyes opened, blinking sleepily.  
  
"Hm...wha...what?"  
  
"Gramps wants to see ya."  
  
The girl blinked again, rubbing a sleepy tick out of her eye. Yawning, she slid out from underneath her blanket and got up, carrying her teddy bear close to her. She took timid steps, slowly approaching the bed where her mother and grandfather were. Her mother spared her a tiny glance, a sad smile, then rubbed her back, not saying anything as she halted at the bed. The light bounced off her pigtails like fire sparks.  
  
Her tiny pink lips remained sealed.  
  
Her grandfather's eyes had shut, but as her footsteps ceased, he opened them again and turned his gaze towards her. A weak smile appeared on his face, and he released his daughter's hand, reaching out.  
  
"Hello, sweetheart..." The little girl stared down at his hand, before slowly taking it in her own. It looked so small compared to his, smoother and less worn out from years of work. He squeezed her hand, gently, as he fended off another cough. Carrie Anne bit her lip again, and continued to rub her daughter's back.  
  
The girl ran her finger against the lines in her grandpa's hand, not looking him in the eye. No words were exchanged between either of them for a good two minutes. Finally, the little girl looked up, with big round eyes, at the old man in the bed.  
  
"Grandpa, are you going to get better soon?" she asked.  
  
Her voice held so much innocence, it was almost impossible to give her the answer that wouldn't upset her. The honest answer, which was not anything positive. The honest answer, which her brother and mother already knew. The answer, which was no.  
But her grandfather didn't tell her this, he didn't even answer directly. He only hesitated, before reaching under his blanket, pulling out a sealed envelope. He held it up, and out towards the little girl. She bent her eyebrows in confusion.  
  
"What is that?  
"  
"Your present, my dear. Go on, take it."  
  
It took another minute, and a glance at her mother, which resulted in a nod, and so the little girl took the envelope. She turned it over, looking at the fancy purple seal on the back which had the initials P.T. on it. Being a child, and being curious, she started to tear at it, trying to open the crisp paper from where it was sealed, but her grandfather's wrinkled hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her.  
  
"No, no don't open it yet." His voice sounded more weak and hoarse than ever. "Have patience."  
  
She said nothing, only lowering the envelope.  
  
"But what's inside, Grandpa? And why won't you tell me if you're gonna get better or not?"  
  
The question again. It was unavoidable, it seemed. Her mother, released the hold she had had on her lip for so long opened her mouth to speak, to reply, but her grandfather spoke first.  
  
"Oho...my sweet girl, I'm sorry. Grandpa's very tired...I'm afraid it'll be awhile." he said. "But don't worry....don't--worry, about me. Right now, it's important you listen to what I say."  
  
Silence. Fire crackling. The girl hugged her bear tightly, watching her sickly grandfather, her big eyes wide open and attentive, yet sad. She knew what was going on, she wasn't that young to not know. Adults just didn't wanna tell her anything. But because she was obedient, she listened, not saying anything.  
  
"There will come a day when you feel crushed by the burden of modern life." His words caused her brother to look over. He stayed by the fire, however, and kept his arms crossed.  
  
"And your bright spirit...will--will fade, before a growing emptiness..." The rain seemed to be falling harder outside. "When that happens, my girl, you'll be ready for this gift. Promise me you won't open it until then."  
  
Though her young mind couldn't quite understand such fancy talk, she nodded.  
  
"Okay, Grandpa. I promise." she said, almost in a whisper.  
  
Another weak smile appeared on the old man's face. He touched her cheek, shaking his head.  
  
"Good girl...now, let Grandpa rest."

 


	2. Prologue (2)

They say that the first snowflake of Winter is supposed to be mean good luck, or good fortune. Or at least, that's what his grandpa had told him long ago. He didn't know if that was true now or not, but despite being past the age of believing anything anyone told him, a part of him wanted it to be true.  
  
This was the first thought in Pepper's mind as he looked up just in time to have a snowflake melt onto his freckled nose. He blinked, rubbing his nose with his mittened hand and looked up to see more snowflakes descending from the sky, which resembled something akin to a thick grey blanket.  
  
It hurt his eyes, but he couldn't help but continue to stare.  
  
More flakes fell, hitting more of the freckles on his face. He looked down, holding his mitten out to catch a rather large looking flake. One small glance was all he got before it melted into the purple yarn. One small sigh escaped his lips and he reached back over, picking up the rake he'd dropped onto the ground before the flakes had arrived.  
  
Leaves from that previous autumn scattered the ground, and the snow obviously hadn't wanted to wait. The whole reason he'd been out here was to rake, not get distracted by the snowflakes like he was a little kid again. He was supposed to have had this finished before lunchtime.  
  
The claws of the rake caught onto a row of leaves as he brought the rake back, the leaves going into the tiny pile he already had. More flakes kept coming and a rough wind blew past him, almost knocking his beanie off his head. His cheeks were freezing and felt numb, and he almost wanted to stop raking again and rub his hands against his cheeks to thaw them.  
  
The front door of the house behind him opened and shut, as an older woman with graying-reddish-brown hair ran out onto the porch, wrapping a grey sweater across herself as her feet hit the decaying wood. She grabbed onto the pole and shouted over the wind.  
  
"Pepper! Lunchtime, honey!"  
  
He perked up and looked back, nodding.  
  
The rake hit the ground and he followed her back inside. She walked back to the kitchen while he kicked his boots off beside a pair of bigger black boots and a pair of red ones. His coat was hung on the rack, yet the beanie remained on his head as he walked into the kitchen, where his mother was now setting a plate of cut-up sandwiches on the table. As she turned, he smiled coyly and snatched one, before darting over to the fridge. A gasp emitted from his mother as she turned back around to see a sandwich missing.  
  
Her glance moved to the fridge where Pepper was taking out the milk jug.  
  
"Okay, I doubt you were that hungry." she scolded, although her tone was light. "Couldn't you have waited?"  
  
Pepper popped the cap off the milk, swallowing the bite he'd taken from his sandwich. As a response to his mother, he only gave a half shrug.  
  
"I am that hungry." he insisted, taking a swig from the milk jug. He was stopped halfway as his mother came over, holding a glass. She took the jug from him and filled the glass halfway before handing it to him. His shoulders drooped and he took another sip, now rummaging through the cabinets.  
  
"Do we have any chips?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just about to get a bag down. Could you do that while I get a bowl?" His mother was taking another plate down from the other cabinet.  
  
"Sure." Pepper reached around until he pulled down a rather large bag of potato chips and opened it, taking a few out for himself before setting it down on the counter. He looked at the kitchen entranceway, seeing the snow falling, but also noticing the empty living room as well.  
  
He looked back to his mother.  
  
"Where's Cole?"  
  
"He's not up yet? I thought he was taking a shower." The chips rustled as they hit the plastic bowl. "At least, I thought he was. I could have sworn I heard the water running in the bathroom earlier."  
  
"He probably fell back asleep. Want me to go check on him?" Pepper reached over and popped another chip in his mouth before taking another sip of his milk. His mother sighed, pulling the bowl away and walking over to the table with it.  
  
"No, just let him sleep. He's been sick, hun, I think he needs the rest."  
  
The bowl hit the table with a clunk. Pepper swallowed, remaining where he currently stood. With a sigh, he ignored his mother's request and sat his glass down, walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Though she called after him, he continued walking down the hall, until he had made it to his brother's room. A bunch of signs and posters adorned the door, even one being a "Keep Out" sign, but he knocked anyways.  
  
"Cole?"  
  
No response.  
  
Another knock.  
  
Finally, he grabbed the doorknob and opened it, marching straight towards the bed where a crumple heap of blankets was. A crumpled heap, or his brother. It could be either or. As he pulled the blankets off and discovered nothing but sheet underneath, it turned out to be exactly what he thought it was.  
  
A thud alerted him and he looked to see his brother at the computer, slumped against his desk. Trying his best to avoid another sigh, Pepper walked over and tapped the older boy's shoulder, trying to wake him. Nothing. Noticing a can of beer nearby, he picked it up, opening the tab, and started pouring it down Cole's neck. This seemed to work, causing him to startle, yelping and nearly falling out of his chair.|  
  
"Crap!--Pepper!" Another beverage can hit the ground, clunking against the wood and rolling into a trashcan. "What the he--seriously, what the hell, man?"  
  
"Sorry, sorry!" The younger, smaller boy shrunk back. "It's just--you know, lunchtime. I thought you were hungry."  
  
"I already ate."  
  
"No you didn't. You were out cold all morning."  
  
This caught Cole off guard, and he shot a look back at his little brother. A sour look, yet a knowing, and guilty one at that. He grunted, turning his head back to the computer screen where a screensaver had taken up most of the screen-space that had previously had a webpage up on it. He moved his mouse, covering his mouth with his hand.  
  
Pepper stood behind him, in silence. He grabbed at his arm with one hand, watching as his brother exited from the webpage he previously had up. His eyes met the cans of beer in the trash, but he didn't say anything about them. Why should he, when it was already a familiar sight to begin with? It wasn't like that, or the plastic bags with white powder he had stored away in his underwear drawer were a secret.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What?"  
  
His voice came out in a snap, causing Pepper's eyes to widen. He took a step back, gripping at his arm tighter.  
  
"You coming downstairs?" His own voice was a whisper now.  
  
Cole sighed, pressing his fingers to his forehead.  
  
"God I--I don't know. Just go ahead. I'm not hungry."  
  
That was a no then.  
  
But he didn't leave just yet. He only stood behind his brother, watching as he brought up some basic sports website, watching in his reflection as he rubbed his finger against his chin. He didn't look back at him, and Pepper didn't dare say anything else. So he left, slowly walking out and shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Hey, leave that open."  
  
He heard his brother's voice as he started to descend the stairs. But he didn't go back.  
  
"Hey, Pepper--"  
  
He kept walking.  
  
He could open that damn door himself, for all he cared.

* * *

  
It was 12:00 at night. Pepper knew he should be in bed, asleep, but instead he was up, sitting at the kitchen table, in nothing but a baggy t-shirt and Batman PJ pants. A cup of cocoa that his mother had left out for him sat in front of him, but it had gone cold by now.  
  
Part of him wondered if it was his insomnia keeping him up, or the fact that Cole wasn't home yet.  
  
It was Friday, and Friday night Cole would be stuck working the late shift at a local burger joint downtown. Then after that, he'd go out with some co-workers, who he probably didn't even like, and spend another several hours at some crappy bar downtown, and then spend another hour getting messed up on crack in some stranger's car. He knew how it was by now, that's the way it'd been for several years now.  
  
It probably wasn't good for him to say he was used to it, but he was used to a lot of things in his life by now...and this was one of them unfortunately.  
  
Not to mention that the minute it had hit 12:00, he wasn't thirteen anymore. Officially, he was fourteen now.  
  
Happy birthday, right? Spending a night in the cold kitchen all by himself.  
  
No, no, he probably had presents hidden somewhere, and in the morning his mother would surprise him with his favorite food for breakfast, and then bake him a cake in the afternoon. It was another routine he was used to, and considering his family's money state, it was the only thing he could afford.  
  
The front door cracking open alerted him, and he craned his neck back to see Cole stumbling in from the cold, stomping snow off his boots. He took his scarf off and shook snow from it, throwing it onto the hat rack, but stopped mid-taking his coat off when he saw his little brother in the faint light of the kitchen. He stood, frozen almost, for a minute, then began walking over to him.  
  
"Pep, what are you doing up?" he hissed. When his brother didn't answer, he cracked a grin and gave a soft cackle, sitting down next to him. "Are you going for a world record again, the thirteen year old insomniac's hall of fame or something?"  
  
Pepper didn't answer. He just kept staring at his brother, then poked at his cocoa cup.  
  
Cole's grin faded, and he leaned back in his seat, beginning to tap the table. There was no alcohol on his breath, but his fingertips were yellowed, probably from smoking.  
  
Finally, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small package and putting it in front of his little brother. Pepper eyed it, bending an eyebrow. He pushed his cup aside and picked it up, turning it over in his hands, before tossing it back down again.  
"Trying to make amends for earlier?" he said almost bitterly, causing his brother to look startled. Though he didn't respond right away, he instead leaned back and rubbed the back of his head, letting out a long sigh.  
  
"Pep...I--no. No, just--" He rubbed his eyes, letting his hands slide down his face. Pepper watched, waiting.  
  
"I...didn't mean to act that way towards you, I'm sorry."  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
Pepper would be surprised at how cold his voice sounded if it weren't for how many times he had this conversation. His brother didn't seem surprised either, he just seemed annoyed more than anything, and groaned, letting his hand smack the table. Not loud enough to startle, but enough to cause the cocoa cup and package to jolt a bit.  
  
"Yeah, I--I know..." He ran his fingers through his hair now, avoiding eye contact. "The beer cans, the, the half-drank ones...I can explain that, okay?"  
  
"No you can't. You always say that but you can't." Pepper looked away now too, a fly buzzing at his ear. He swatted it, and looked down at his lap. "Just say you have a problem and we'll all be happy."  
  
"It's not that simple!" Cole smacked the table again, this time causing Pepper to jolt. He looked at him, but his expression remained blank. Almost immediately, an expression of guilt was on Cole's face, and he grunted, now rubbing his forehead.  
  
"I...got, I got fired." he said.  
  
The blankness on Pepper's face melted into a shocked one.  
  
"What? When did--"  
  
"This morning. My boss, she, heh, well, she texted me to let me know someone else was taking over my position." He leaned his chair back, kicking his feet up on the table. "I got my last paycheck tonight. That's the only reason you got your present early, I didn't wanna be tempted to spend it on other things...you know what I'm sayin'?"  
  
Pepper's eyes fell on the package again. He looked at it, then looked at his brother. His brother looked at him, ceasing his foot tapping, then cracked a smile and laughed.  
  
"Hey no feeling sorry for me, it's not like there's not anymore jobs at there." he stated. "You shouldn't be worrying about me."  
  
"It's kinda my job, you know. And mom's." Pepper shrugged. "I don't know...we're your family, after all."  
  
"That doesn't mean you have to worry all the time though. Hey, I'll be fine, we'll be fine, just wait and see. Mom's still got a job, and I promise the first thing I'll do in the morning is apply for another position somewhere else."  
  
Pepper eyed his brother.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Pinky promise."  
  
His eyes went back to the present. He picked it up, silently, before tearing back the red ribbon holding the paper together. The paper fell loose as he tore at it, revealing a little box underneath. He sat the box down, opening the lid, reveal a small, porcelain bird inside. He carefully pried it loose from the tissue paper, running his finger in awe over the smooth blue wings.  
  
"Huh..."  
  
His gaze went up to his brother, a smile on his face.  
  
"I'm gonna hold you to that promise."


	3. Chapter One

The clock ticking away at the wall combined with the constant ringing of phones and tapping of computer keys was enough to drive any person insane, and the combination of both sounds was the only thing Pepper could hear flowing in and out of his ears. His own fingers typed away at the computer in front of him, had been for a good hour now, but his expression could easily matched to a zombie's with how lifeless his eyes looked. The dark bags didn't seem to help either, and he looked like he'd nod off at any second. This could could be said for the other employees in Jojo Corp.

Each sat at their own desks, in their cubicles, typing away at their computers, filing through papers, and whatever other monotonous tasks the day held for them. Pepper's fingers ceased typing momentarily as his eyes shifted towards the big clock on the wall, noting it was only 2:00. Had he not been in a public building, this would have caused him to scream and bang his fists against the desk. He'd done this once, and needless to say it had not ended well, only with a warning from his boss to be more quiet or else, whatever that meant.

But 2:00 meant it was still another two hours until he could clock out and go home, another two hours of slaving away like a mindless drone. So much time he was wasting, and it was like this 24/7 save for the weekend.

If you'd told his eight year old self he'd be doing this for a living, he would have laughed. A boring office job was never what he wanted from life, never wanted to have it as a career. He'd always thought he'd be a published author, or at least, known for something important by now. He'd told himself when starting this job, he'd try to make time for his hobbies, for improving on them, but he never got a chance. 4 years had he been stuck at this job, 4 years of his life dwindled away as an office drone. No, it was definitely not what he wanted. Yet no other job had wanted him, this had been his only choice. It wasn't like every job out there had a good medical plan, winners could not be choosers.

But god, did he hate working here. In fact, he detested it. The clock ticked away slower even though he wasn't looking at it, the time now being nothing but 2 minutes ahead of what it previously was.

Sighing, Pepper looked back at the computer screen, at the documents he was typing. He was supposed to have these ready by now, he was running late as it was, but he really didn't feel like working on them any longer. It was all he'd been doing the entire day, only taking a lunch break, then getting right back to it. Biting his lip, he looked around at the cubicles around him. No one was paying attention, except to their work, as per usual. Turning back to the screen, he shrunk down the documents and instead brought up a separate word document which held an unfinished story chapter in it. He leaned forward in his seat, pursing his lips together as one hand propped against his head, the elbow on the desk. Closing his eyes, he allowed more pleasant thoughts to fill his mind, and then began typing.

_"No, you don't understand. You never have, and you never will." Maxine crossed herself and turned away, away from having to face him. "I'm my own person, why can't you just accept it? Why can't you just accept that this is who I am?"_

_"Because..." He almost found himself at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say, what he could do now. She was slipping through his fingers, and it was own his fault. Maybe there wasn't anything he could do. Maybe he was too stubborn...too stubborn to admit defeat, to admit change..._

_"Because...that's not the person I fell in love with, Maxine. You're not her anymore...I can't look past that." He finally said it. And that seemed to be what she needed to hear, because she snorted, smiling sadly as she looked back at him._

_"_ _You can't?" The sad smile struck him like daggers, making him wish he weren't so set in his ways. He could have said something, different? Something that wouldn't hurt her, he could have, couldn't he? He swallowed hard, unable to look at her any longer._

_"No...I--I can't..."_

"That better be the report I wanted, Maxwell." The gravelly tone of his boss's voice caused Pepper's heart to beat fast in his chest. In a state of panic, he closed down the word document, going back to the report screen. His mouth felt dry despite his desperate attempts to gather saliva, and he looked nervously over at his boss, up with a shaky smile.

"Uh, um--" he stuttered. "It's not, sir, I uh--I didn't--"

"You didn't finish it yet?" His boss raised an eyebrow, before sighing and crossing his arms with the folders he was carrying. "Maxwell, I thought I made it very clear I needed that report on my desk at 2:30 precisely, if not earlier. How long could it possibly take to type up one report?"

"Longer than you'd think, sir..." Pepper muttered under his breath, but shut up the moment he saw his boss giving him a sharp look. He slunk back in his seat, letting his hands slide back from the desk. "It's a complex report, Mr. Harris, I--" He picked at a loose fiber in his pants. "It's more work than I thought it was, I don't know if I'll be able to have it ready by 2:30."

"Well you better, otherwise you can kiss your paycheck goodbye." Pepper yelped as a stack of files hit him on the head and he rubbed the sore spot while grunting, noticing his boss now walking away. He felt a childish urge to stick his tongue out, but decided not to risk it. Instead, he slid his chair back into his cubicle, sitting there in stressed silence before leaning forward to work on the report again.

* * *

The air-horn that indicated it was the end of the work day was perhaps the most beautiful thing that Pepper had heard all day. It was suffice to say he felt dead inside, even as he drug himself out of the elevator and outside into the brisk city, amongst his other co-workers who also flocked from the building like chickens. Most talked to each-other, but the young man kept to himself, carrying his brief case as he walked to the nearby bus stop. He'd forgotten how warm of a day it actually was; given the freezer-like temperature in the Joja building.

Though, it was a bit cloudy, but the sun appeared to be managing it's best to shine through despite that.

While the other co-workers walked to the big parking garages across the street or flagged down a taxi, Pepper opted towards remaining at the bus stop. He didn't particularly have a thing for cars; they were a little too constricting for his taste. Besides, he took the bus everyday, he wasn't about to change his schedule at the drop of hat, even though hailing a taxi might have been quicker than waiting for the bus to show up.

At this thought, the bus pulled up, opening it's doors to the waiting patrons outside, which was really nobody save for a young woman and her child, and Pepper obviously. Both adults stopped at the entrance-way at the same time, but he stepped aside to let her pass given that she was pushing a stroller. She smiled gratefully at him, and he smiled back with a nod, then boarded himself.

The doors shut, and the bus lurched forward as Pepper made his way to the usual spot where he sat. The briefcase, which hadn't even been that heavy, he sat in the seat next to him, as he crossed his legs and reclined back, releasing a tired sigh. This, was perhaps, the one time of the day he actually enjoyed except for the part where he finally got to go sleep. Plus he knew tomorrow was a weekend, which meant he'd be getting the day off. It was a nice feeling to have. But heck, he did not have or feel a sense of accomplishment. He never did, even after the years he'd worked at Joja Corp, he'd never left with a sense of accomplishment. It wasn't exactly something he'd put on his list of being proud of; finishing reading a book, yeah, that was an accomplishment. Slaving away at a job that sucked his soul out of him? No, definitely not.

The bus turned a sharp corner, Pepper grabbing at the pole next to him to hang on, as in his daze had almost slipped from his seat. It was funny, he was young and healthy, he should standing next to this pole, not sitting and hanging onto it like this. But with his job, he felt many years older than he actually was and thus felt he deserved the luxury of sitting down. It was gonna be another twenty minutes before the bus reached his apartment, so he took this time to check his phone for any unanswered calls or text messages. Hm...one missed call from his mom...a text from his step-sister, he could reply to that in a minute. However, it was the last unread message that made him cease in his screen-swiping. A message from someone named Seth. His thumb stayed frozen in place, his lower lip being nibbled by his upper teeth.

A piece of him screamed not to read it, yet he found himself swiping it aside anyways and bringing it up to read it. He hadn't known what else to expect, except for the same repeated message that could be seen further up on the screen. Maybe not the exact same words, but it was definitely in the same vibe.

 ** _"Babe...hey. Just wanted to say happy birthday and uh...I miss you. Please call me sometime, k?"_** A small shudder rippled in his spine and he exited out of the message screen and went back to answering his step-sister's text message, which read **"You still coming over tonight?"**.

He tapped his reply in.

 _ **"Yeah, just headed home to get changed and relax for a bit. What time?"**_ Her reply came back quicker than he blinked. _**"Kk! Also um, I think 7? Dad's working late and won't be home until then so if that's okay with you..."**_

 _ **"Yeah, sure. It'll give me time to squeeze a nap in."**_ He exited that message screen, just in time for the bus to pull to a stop. This wasn't his stop, obviously, so he stayed seated, eyes remaining on his phone. A man and an elderly lady entered, the man taking a seat across from Pepper, and the woman standing next to the bar. She held onto it, and smiled kindly over at Pepper with a nod as to say hello. He returned it, but questioned internally as to why she hadn't sat down. That's when it dawned on him there were no other seats available currently, that the other man had taken the last one. Well, someone's mother had not taught them manners...

Standing wasn't exactly appealing to Pepper, but honestly, he knew he could handle standing for another fifteen minutes. It wouldn't be too long til his stop anyhow. Besides, he felt a little guilty seeing the old lady standing there while he stayed relax in his own seat, it just didn't feel right. So he coughed, reaching over to tap on her arm. She looked at him, and he stood up, grabbing the pole himself. "Excuse me ma'am, hey, you can sit here." He motioned to the seat, the woman gasping and giving him a thankful expression as she sat down. Pepper snatched his briefcase up, but was caught off guard as the woman grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Bless you, young man. Not many young folk are that willing to give up their seat to anyone my age these days." she said warmly. "Thank you so much."

He said nothing, only nodding back at her with a small smile.

Soon enough the bus, made it to his apartment building, and he exited. The old woman had talked to him for the majority of the way back, and had even said goodbye when he left. Though in all his awkwardness, he'd remained quiet and just nodded and smiled a lot. He did feel bad for having acted that way, but what socialization did he get outside of work and family? None.

So, he walked into the building, and to the elevator. While in there, he checked his phone again and mentally scolded himself upon noticing the missed call from his mother still on the screen. She probably wanted to know what he wanted her to cook that night or what he wanted her to get him...as she did every year. No use in putting off calling her back, he supposed.

He pressed her name and pressed the green call button, holding the phone to his ear as he waited for her to pick up. The phone rang on the other end for a couple of minutes before he heard her voice, sounding a little too eager, but that was typical of her, he supposed. He didn't mind it.

"Hello? Pepper, hey, how are you doing, honey?"

"Tired, very tired. As usual." The elevator doors opened on the third floor and Pepper stepped out, gripping his briefcase as he walked down the hall. He shuffled in his pocket for his apartment keys for a minute and inserted them into the lock. "I had to cram in a last minute report for my boss and I swear to God, I thought my fingers were gonna fall off."

"Don't complain, sweetie, it could be a lot worse."

"Define worse." Pepper unlocked his apartment, walking inside. He tossed his briefcase aside, a small thud sounding as it hit the kitchen counter. "At this rate I think I would've been better off bagging groceries, at least then I'd be mobile all day. Huh. Anyways, what's up?"

"Your birthday, that's what. Last I checked, it was today, wasn't it? March 18th, right?"

"Mom, really? I know when my own birthday is." "I know that honey, believe me I know it. I'm the one who gave birth to you, remember?"

He chuckled at his mom's statement as he snagged a cup from the counter that he'd left out earlier. "Anyways, the reason I was trying to call you earlier is because I'm planning to leave for the store soon, and I wanted to know what you wanted for your birthday meal."

"I told you you didn't have to cook anything, Mom. Really." Pepper poured himself a glass of ice tea and headed to the living room, flopping onto the couch. "I'm fine with takeout, just get Chinese or something." "Oh no, don't give me that. I'm cooking for you whether you like it or not." his mom scolded him on the other end, though he recognized her tone as playful. "My cooking is much better than any old takeout, plus it's your birthday. I'm cooking, end of story."

Well, he couldn't really fight her after that remark.

"Okay, okay you win, hah." he chuckled softly, grabbing the remote. "But nothing fancy okay? Just whip up some chili and hot dogs or something, I don't care. Just don't go to any extremes for my sake."

"No promises, hon. You know how I tend to spoil my babies, it's just how I am."

"I'm well-aware. Is that why you almost set the house on fire trying to light my sixteenth birthday cake?" An almost-offended gasp from his mother caused him to chuckle again. "I'm kidding, Mom. I'm kidding. You know I love you." "Hah...love you too, honey." She sounded almost exasperated, and sighed. "You'll still be here tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I'll try to be. Hey, no--no trying to surprise me or anything, okay? I'm just coming over for a simple supper and presents, nothing else. "

"Of course, dear."

"Please?"

"Yes, honey! I promise!" His mother laughed, and he heard her opening a door on the other end. "Look, I'm actually headed out now, I'll text you later to let you know when to come, alrighty?"

"Oh, Jamie already did that. 7:00, right?"

"Yup."

"Gotcha, see you then." Pepper took a drink from his cup. "Bye Mom, love you." "I love you too, sweetheart, bye!" She hung up, and Pepper turned his phone off, setting it on the coffee table in front of him. He sighed tiredly, propping his feet on the table as well and leaning his head back against the cushions. The noises of the tv became distant as he relaxed, holding up his glass as if he was about to make a toast.

Huh, to think he was 24 today. Felt weird.

Cocking an eyebrow, he shook his head and pretended to clink the cup against an imaginary glass.

"Well kiddo, here's to another year you didn't go insane..." he muttered, taking a sip.

Awhile later, he'd finished off his drink, and while the tv continued playing whatever generic program was on, he allowed his eyes to droop shut and eventually drifted off into a well-deserved sleep.

* * *

 

He didn't know what it time it was when he woke up; just that he was probably running late. Where it had been slightly lighter outside when he'd fallen asleep, it was definitely darker than before in his apartment now, and he knew this for a fact considering he'd bothered to turn no lights on. The tv was still on, so he turned it off, and craned his neck to look at the clock on the wall.

6:30?! God, he was gonna be late for his own birthday celebration.

Almost immediately, Pepper got up from the couch, though got hit with a dizzy spell due to getting so quickly, but he recovered and padded to his room, knowing very well he was already going to be late, but he'd be damned if he showed in his work clothes. He'd had enough work today to last him a lifetime, hell no one had even said happy birthday despite him stating it was today, several times, during lunch break. Did it matter now? Probably not.

In his room, he opened his drawers and mumbled while shuffling through several pairs of pants and shirts. His fingers brushed against some kind of paper, and he paused. After a moment, he pulled the paper out, blowing off the dust covering it. It was a very old envelope, one that he had not really seen for twenty years of his life now. The last time he'd even pulled this out was when he moved here, to this crappy apartment. He might have only been four years old, but he could remember that night, his grandpa. He remembered himself, as a child, as a...different, child, but holding to his teddy bear, and listening to his grandfather's confusing, wise words.

Now that he was older, he thought they made a little more sense now.

His fingertips brushed the wax seal carefully, and wistfully. Tempted as he was to open it, he remembered the words the old man had said to him. This was the whole reason he even bothered hiding this thing was because of those words, was because he was always too tempted to open it. No, no opening it. Not yet. Though, he would daresay modern life was already crushing, he wasn't sure yet. He'd had plenty of times where it would have been perfect to open this thing, but he never could. Couldn't bring himself to. He didn't know what was stopping him to be perfectly honest, but he just couldn't yet.

Maybe...maybe later.

Yeah.

Shoving it back into the drawer without another thought, he picked up a plaid button-up alongside some blue jeans and headed into the bathroom to get changed.

Almost forty minutes later, he'd journeyed on the bus from the bustling half of Zuzu City to the housing portions, where his family lived. His family, which consisted of his mother, Carrie-Anne, his step-father Jude, and his step-sister Jamie.

Everyone, save for his brother. Everyone save for Cole.

No, he had other places to be right now.

He swallowed hard as he walked up the sidewalk, to the house. A grocery bag with a bottle of Joja Cola was in his hand, swinging back and forth as his feet tapped the stone pavement. He made it up the steps and knocked, stepping back to wait for someone to open. Waited, five minutes, and no footsteps came. Confused, he knocked again, but no one came. He checked his watch. God, he was...he was only a few minutes late. They wouldn't have eaten without him, would they? Or decide to go out somewhere last minute? No, they wouldn't. They would have told him. Besides, he recognized his step-dad's beatup old Chevy in the driveway. So for the third time, he knocked, this time hearing a voice faintly speaking from inside.

"Come in!"

It sounded like his mother, so, he sighed and pushed the door open, surprised to find it was almost completely dark inside. Warily, he stepped inside, carrying the bag with him. "Mom? Jude?" he called out. No responses, except for small giggles. He bent his eyebrows, then reached over and turned the lightswitch on. As he expected, his mother, step-father, and Jamie all emerged from behind the couch, each one of them holding a present...well, save for his mother who was holding a huge bowl of chili.

"Happy birthday!" They all exclaimed, his step-dad blowing a party horn in the process. Pepper snorted, a small smile spreading on his face. He should have expected this, regardless of his request to have no legit party. But as he looked around, he could see the room was entirely decorated with balloons and a confetti, even a huge banner that said "Happy Birthday, Pepper" on it.

"Wow, guys. You really surprised me, thanks." His tone of voice was sarcastic, yet he couldn't help but smile anyways. His family laughed, and each of them emerged from their spot, Jamie opened her arms for a hug despite holding a large wrapped present. Both young adults hugged while their parents stood behind them.

"I told Mom you didn't want a surprise party, but she wouldn't listen." Jude stated, chuckling as he wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder. "But happy birthday anyways, buddy."

"Yeah, took you long enough to show up, but happy birthday anyways, squirt." Jamie stepped back, grinning, and holding her gift out to him. He took it, also taking the gift from his step-dad as well. The family all went to the couch together to open, while his mother headed to the kitchen to quickly put the chili up. Curiously, Pepper shook the box while his step-sister squealed at him and swatted his arm playfully.

"Aw come on, don't shake it!" she protested.

"Why? Is it a Gremlin?" Pepper smirked at her and she smacked him again, the two of them laughing. He finally tore open the paper to find a cardboard box, which he then discovered had several DVDs in them. Which, also happened to be Disney movies.

He pulled them out, and eyed Jamie with a grin.

"You know it'd be so much easier for you to just get me a boxed set of these things, right?" he asked, though she rolled her eyes and flopped back on the couch, folding her arms.

"You know how much those things cost? Nah, I'd rather take my time."

"Well I appreciate these anyways, Jamie. Thank you." He set the box aside and picked the present up from his step-father, seeing it was not wrapped in a box, as he could feel what felt like a book wrapped inside. His mother had come back into the room, carrying something behind her back whilst nibbling at her lip. "Hm..." Pepper tore open the wrapping paper, finding a leather journal inside. He flipped through the pages, while Jude watched with an amused expression on his face.

"I know it's not a lot, but I know how much you like writing and, heh, well, I thought you could use it." he said. "Considering how many of those you collected as a teenager, you know."

Pepper shut the journal, bouncing it in his hands momentarily.

"Yeah, yeah I did have a lot...thanks, Jude. Thanks Mom." He set it aside with his movies, then clapped his hands together, standing back up.

"Alright, now how about that supper? I was promised chili and hot dogs, you guys didn't eat without me, did you?" A stupid question, considering he saw his mother with the chili bowl when he came into the house, yet he asked anyways.

Both parents shook their head, and Jamie stood up from her seat, blowing out a sigh. "I wanted to, but you know, Mom said you should get the first plate and didn't think it was fair." she said. "So no, your feast is still waiting for you, majesty." "Excellent. I'm looking forward to some actual food instead of that factory crap from work." Pepper rubbed his hands together and started to head to the kitchen, but Carrie-Anne stepped in front of him, holding her hand out.

"Wait, honey--" She stopped short, Pepper noticing how sullen her face looked. She must have caught on that he noticed, because she smiled, although weakly, and brought out the item she'd been hiding behind her back. He looked at it, seeing a small box. His mind went back to his fourteenth birthday, and his conversation with Cole at the dinner table...

Quietly, he took the box, pulling back the string and paper. Through some tissue paper, he found a small, porcelain cardinal, holding it in the palm of his hand for a minute. His parents watched in silence, while Jamie looked at the floor, scuffling her foot against the floral carpet. The entire mood of the room, it seemed, had shifted vastly the moment he'd pulled out the bird, and nobody said anything. Finally, Pepper himself broke the silence, though his voice sounded more choked up than he meant it to.

"It's....ni--um....it's nice. Thanks..." he mumbled, feeling a lump develop in his throat. He swallowed it down quickly, while his mother's weak smile remained and she nodded. "Yeah, uh...Cole had me pick it out. I stopped by the home today to visit him...and uh, he actually asked about you, you know." she was saying, but her voice sounded distant to Pepper right now. "He was wondering if you still liked collecting those little porcelain birds or not...I mean, if you don't like it, I can just take it back--"

"No!" The loudness of his voice seemed to have startled everybody from their quiet expressions, but he chided himself and cleared his throat.

"Um...nah, nah it's um, I like it. It's okay, Mom." he apologized. His mouth felt dry now, and he licked his lips. "Just...I guess I wasn't expecting anything from uh...Cole, you know. I don't know." He shoved the bird into his pocket, clearing his throat again. "Thanks, thanks everyone. This has probably been the better part of my day." he admitted. "Now unless you've got anymore presents hidden in the back of the house somewhere, can we eat now? I haven't had anything since lunch."

Everyone was in agreement to that, especially Jamie. His mother patted him on the back as they all headed into the kitchen, each taking a seat at the table. No, he wasn't lying when he said this was the better part of his day; he truely enjoyed the time he got to spend with his family. Even though Jude and Jamie weren't blood-related to him, he'd loved and cared for them if they were from the day his mother married Jude and accepted Jamie as her daughter. And his mother, he would always love her, she had always been so supportive and so caring.

Then there was Cole, the one person he couldn't seem to stand talking about.

It was funny; at one point in his life, he'd thought maybe that his older brother had been on the mend.

Guess he'd never gotten that chance after all that happened...

A happy hour passed for the family, as they talked and ate, each talking about their day and past memories, past, happy memories. Carrie-Anne, being the mother she was, delighted in recalling an embarrassing story from Pepper's childhood, to which he reddened and covered his face, much to Jamie's amusement. After dinner, they'd all taken turns in doing the dishes, and soon headed out to the living room to start up with the board games, as was Pepper's request.

It was only when they'd been halfway into Monopoly when there was another knock at the door. Carrie-Anne was in the kitchen making popcorn, and the other three family members were seated into the living room while Beauty and the Beast played on the television. Each looked up at the sound, and Jamie jumped up.

"I'll get it, don't take Parking Place while I'm gone." she called as she headed to the door.

"Good luck with that, you're still in jail." Pepper teased, and he heard his step-sister's bitter laugh at his statement. He snorted, and got back to sorting through his paper money while his step-dad rolled the dice. The door could be heard opening, and the sound of a familiar voice caused Pepper's arms to weaken.

"Hey, Jamie--"

"What are you doing here, asshole?"

"I--geezus, don't be that way. I just wanted to see if Pepper was here, he wasn't at his apartment."

"Oh, so you're stalking him, now?"

The conversation continued as Carrie-Anne exited with the popcorn. She'd had a smile, but it faded when she looked over at the door. She exchanged a nervous look with Jude, who in-turn looked at Pepper, who's eyes were on the floor. His skin was already naturally pale, but it looked even more drained of color than it ever had been before.

"Pepper?" The figure at the door shoved past a protesting Jamie, walking in. Immediately, Jude got up, and he and his wife stood in front of their son.

"You're not welcome here, Seth." Pepper heard his step-father's stern voice, but he couldn't bear himself to look up. He heard that same chuckle, that awkward chuckle, he'd known it for two years of his life. He didn't wanna look up, didn't wanna see the face it belonged to. "

I'm--I'm not? Wow, okay. Sure, sorry." Seth, as Pepper could imagine, was holding up his hands and backing up. "Thanks for making me feel welcome then, guys. Sorry."

"What do you want here?" His mother snapped, causing Pepper to look up slightly. "If you haven't noticed, we're trying to celebrate Pepper's birthday right now, family members only."

"I know that, I swear I--I don't wanna take up too much of your time, I just wanna talk to Pepper." His voice felt like nails on a chalkboard, reminding Pepper of a previous time. He felt his skin go cold and grabbed at his arms, shaking slightly.

_"You belong to me, you hear that?" Slap. "You do what I say, you dress how I want. You'll have sex when I want, do you understand?" H_

_e said nothing._

_Another slap. "Y-yes--yes, I understand." He finally choked out, his lower lip already swollen. "P-please, I understand. But Seth...Seth please, not now. Not now. I'm not ready."_

_"I don't give a fuck if you aren't ready. I said I wanted to have sex, and we're having it now." Pepper cried out as he was shoved back, onto the couch. He tried to get away, but felt Seth's foot pinning him down. He whimpered, wailing, as he heard the sound of his boyfriend's pants unzipping.  
  
"_ _S-Seth--Seth, please--please, I can't--please...." He felt his hands on his backside, pulling his own pants back._

_He tried to get away again, but was kicked in the ribs. Howling, with hot tears streaming down his face, he felt Seth's cold hands on his bare skin, felt something...something awful... "Seth! Seth stop, please! Stop it! Stop it!" "You never listen to me, you never listen, you useless little fuck, you never ever listen."_

_He felt his mind going blank, the tears on his face going down faster. "_

_"Never--" It wouldn't stop. "Ever--"_

_"This is what you deserve."_

"Why?" Jamie's voice brought Pepper back, though he was trembling at this rate. He didn't wanna remember that; why, why had that asshole had to show up now, why...for the love of God, the day had gotten better. Why, why now.

"Because..." He heard Seth give off a huff, and looked to see him lifting up a gift bag. "I just wanted to give him a birthday present, you know. Like any good boyfriend would."

"You aren't my boyfriend." Pepper shocked himself by talking, even earning looks from everyone in the room. He didn't stare Seth in the eye, though looked at his face. He hadn't realized he'd let a few tears escape, and brushed them away. "You haven't been my boyfriend for six months, Seth. Why are you here now?"

"I--Like I said, it's your birthday." Seth smiled, as if that would help, and held up the birthday present again. "Don't you want your present?"

"I'll take it." Carrie-Anne had set the popcorn down and stepped forward, holding her hand to to take the gift back. She looked ready to pounce, almost like a lioness, yet was doing a good job holding herself back. It was evident nobody in his family liked Seth, not in the slightest, and he was clearly outnumbered. Even though he didn't look like he wanted to give the present to his ex's mother, he did so anyways, releasing a dissatisfied groan at the same time.

"Now get out." his mother snapped, tossing the bag aside. "We don't want you here."

"Okay, okay." Seth held his hands up in protest, stepping back. "Alright, I get it. I'm the unwanted guest. I'll go, sorry for disturbing you all."

He headed towards the door, but spared a glance to the silent Pepper as he grabbed the doorknob.

"Babe...hey. Text me back sometime, okay?" He said nothing, continuing to stay silent. Seth sighed, then opened the door. The family watched him leave, all with stone expressions on their faces, even when he looked back at them. He just looked annoyed, and shut the door hard behind him. At the sound of his car starting, it was then Pepper got up and headed to the window, watching the truck pull out of the driveway and go off down the street.

He jumped at feeling his mother's hand on his back, and shifted his eyes towards her.

"Honey, you okay?" she asked quietly, knowing very well what had been on his mind the moment that his ex had walked in. He only nodded, though it was a lie.

His day had finally shown signs of improvements, and just like that, it'd gone down the drain again.

Typical. How damn typical.

* * *

 

It was 10:00 by the time Pepper made it back to his apartment. His eyelids were heavy, and his body felt tired again, but there was no way he was going to sleep yet. He couldn't, not with how he felt. His morning had been crap, and the only half of his day that had been any good was the afternoon and half the evening. Now he was back to feeling as dragged out as he had earlier.

The presents hit the couch, and he rubbed the back of his neck, yawning softly.

His phone ringing caused him to stop and he picked the device out of his pocket, dismayed to find it was his boss. At the very least, it wasn't Seth trying to bother him again, goodness knows he'd already done his fair share just by showing up and having the audacity to try talking to him.

"Hello?" "Ah, Mr. Maxwell!" He cringed at hearing his boss's voice, yet tried to maintain a calm tone as he replied.

"Yeah, Mr. Harris? What can I do for you?" He kicked his shoes off, heading to the kitchen to put away the leftovers that Carrie-Anne had sent him home with.

"Well I just wanted to call and wish one of our best employees a happy birthday, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to earlier but I really needed those reports. I'm sure you understand." Yeah, he understood. Completely. Despite knowing Mr. Harris was on the other end of the line and couldn't see him, he still nodded.

"Yeah, it's fine, sir, I understand."

He shoved the chili into the fridge and shut the door. "Is there anything else you wanted?"

"Yes, actually. You remember Mrs. Collins, the cubicle across from you?"

"I'm vaguely familiar with her, sir." He never really got a chance to talk to his co-workers, if he was honest. "What about her?"

"Well, she's called in sick and won't be able to make it tomorrow. Now, I know you normally take off weekends, but there's no one else to available..." Inwardly, the young man winced as his boss continued. "Would you mind coming in, just for a couple of hours, at least?"

_No, no, no, for the love of God--don't say yes--_

"U-uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess I could." _Damn it, Pepper._ "That's...not a problem, really..."

"Excellent! I look forward to seeing you then, Mr. Maxwell. Have a pleasant evening!"

"You...you too..." He numbly hung up, standing in the kitchen for a minute before chucking the phone aside. Normally, he wasn't the type to get mad, but after the anything-but pleasant evening he had, that wasn't the news he was hoping to get. Not after a stressful work day, how could that prick talk to him like he hadn't been nagging him around...

Then his mother had mentioned Cole, even though she knew how he felt about talking about him. Fucking hell....Seth showing up had been the icing on the cake.

Deciding he might as well get to bed now considering how early he had to be up, Pepper picked his phone up, annoyed to find it's screen was now cracked. He flicked his bedroom lights on, sitting on the bed and peeling his socks off. Sighing, he flopped back onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling above him. In his train of thought...he couldn't help but reflect. This past day, week, year even...so much had happened. So much had happened since he was fourteen, four even. Twenty years since his grandpa...ten years since Cole had...huh...and a year since...

His brain fuzzed on him and he grunted, covering his eyes in exasperation.

Why, why had he delayed on opening that damn envelope. Hell if he couldn't help it, he was man enough to admit life was stressing him out, and he did indeed feel crushed. His mind went to the envelope.

Should he...

Huh.

Oh, to hell with it. He didn't know if this is what Grandpa had meant by "the burden of modern life", but he'd put this off long enough. It was his birthday damn it, he was gonna count this as the present he really needed.

He got up, flinging open the drawer, and dug through his clothes again before finding the envelope. Pulling it out, he tore the wax seal, but when it came to actually taking out the paper inside...he hesitated. Twenty years....it had been so long... Was he really, truly ready for this? Only one to find out, he supposed. Slowly, he pulled the folded paper out, opening it to find his grandpa's handwriting.

_**"Dear Pepper, if you're reading this, your life must be in dire need of a change..."** _


	4. Chapter Two

Pepper was sure he could account the migraine in his head to the fact his phone had been constantly buzzing for the past five minutes, with messages from his boss, possibly from his mother, Seth, in fact it seemed like anybody and everyone who had his number had decided to message him at the same time, simultaneously.

And at work, no less. Of all the damn places to be bothered, it just had to be work.

It was like someone in the universe was purposefully conspiring again him, continually, and unending. Part of him always wondered if it was karma getting back at him for some events in the past, even though some events, in his opinion, hadn't been his fault entirely.

Still. He'd heard people always say karma was a bitch, maybe this what they meant by that.

Or maybe he was just overthinking and being dramatic, that was always a possibility.

Whatever it was, karma or not, the messages continued to blow up his phone and the work area around him remained as monotonous and dull as ever. Same phone ringing, same copying machines buzzing, the same sound of typing on a computer, the same loud voices coming from the boss's office which was unfortunately too close to Pepper's cubicle.

His lips almost blubbered, as he blew out a sigh, and ceased work on the sales report he'd been editing and scooted his chair back, rubbing his temples. His birthday, his work on the weekend, had all subsided, and now another week had begun. Well, technically, it had been the previous day, given that this was a Tuesday, but he couldn't tell when every day always felt like a Monday for the past several years.

Nothing felt different, as expected. Nothing except, that his mind was somewhere else. Not in the same use that it used to be. No, where he used to be imagining other possible scenarios, scenarios he'd rather be in than here, or the random stories he enjoyed writing out of stress, his thoughts were instead on a certain little letter he'd opened the night of his birthday. Yeah, it'd been a few days since he'd first opened it, he knew that. Yet, it'd been on his mind from the minute he'd finished reading it. It stuck to his mind like the jelly his mom would put on the sandwiches she used to pack him for school, as much as he had hated that stuff...always preferred peanut and butter alone rather having jelly accompany it.

But that was beside the point right now. Sandwiches were the last thing on his mind, the letter was the first. He'd read it over at least two times now, and had discovered it stashed away in his back pocket, when he sat at his desk and reached for his phone.  
It'd been shoved there the night he read, even then, he could still feel it burning a hole in the fabric. Like it was begging to be looked at it again, just for validation, just to remind him of the pressing matter in his mind.

Swaying slightly at his desk, no thanks to the wheels on the chair he was currently sitting in. Leaning his head back, he checked, making sure at first that no one was paying attention, or that his boss wasn't coming to make another unexpected visit to ask about the sales report. Thankfully, everyone seemed just as enslaved as usual, so he quickly pulled out the paper again, it now very crinkled from having spent two hours underneath the weight of his bum.

Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes, opened them, and unfolded the letter for perhaps the sixth time this week, the third time today. He scanned the words carefully, to make sure he was reading everything correctly, that what he was reading was actually not just a figment of his deprived imagination.

But it was all there, there was no doubt about it. Besides, he knew his grandpa's handwriting, he'd know if it was fake. Even if he'd just been four years old when his grandpa wrote this, had barely known the man except for those years, he knew his handwriting. He remembered distinctly, he remembered finding letters that the man had exchanged with his mother, he remembered how much his handwriting had diminished the year he became sick...

  
The words, all there, in that careful, curvy handwriting of his. A bit slurred, but clear enough to read.

  
"Dear Pepper, if you're reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I'd lost sight of what mattered most in life...real connections with other people and nature."  
Pepper sucked in his lower lip, rubbing his thumb against the rough paper as his eyes darted across the words.

  
_Me too, Grandpa, me too..._

  
It wasn't a lie. He didn't really feel connections to anybody anymore, let alone his own family. Nature, huh. Well, it was hard to do that when you lived in a city with polluted air and traffic jams.

  
_"So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belonged,"_ the letter continued to read. _"I've enclosed the deed to that place; my pride and joy, Mousey Farm. It's located in Stardew Valley, on the southern coast. It's the perfect place for you to start your new life."_

Even though he'd read this letter a few times by now, he felt a small tear as he came to the last words on the back of the page.

  
_"This was my most precious gift of all, and now it's yours. I know you'll honor the family name, my dear. Love, Grandpa."_

  
_I love you too, Grandpa...I always will._

  
There was another sentence, the typical P.S. one you'd see on most letters. Something about saying hi to a guy named Lewis, whoever he was, if he was still around. Unlike the other times, Pepper did not close it. He instead brushed the tear that had escaped his eye, and swallowed hard, letting the words truly simmer in his mind this time.

  
Aside from not closing the letter, this was how he had reacted the various times he'd read it. This time though, he looked back several times. Mousey Farm....a funny name, he had to admit, but he vaguely remembered it. Visiting, as a child, one summer...then during the next spring, when...

Yes, he vaguely remembered it. So much blue sky, green grass...trees...god, when was the last time he'd seen a real tree?

  
Odd that it was only coming back to him now, but he had had too much to think about and focus on in the recent years. The memory, slow as it was, came back, bits and pieces albeit considering he was only a small child the last time he had even set foot in that place. Twenty years, to be exact. What did it even look like now, or better yet, what if someone had moved in there already?

No, no they wouldn't have. That deed was in his name, he hadn't changed it, even after his transition. He had a right to it, didn't he?

  
This, was the exact reason he'd read the letter constantly. Couldn't sleep, couldn't focus on work, all he could think about was the fact that there was a farm, located somewhere in a small town, that was in his name...it was legally, all his...all he had to do was claim it.

  
So the real question was, what was stopping him? Himself? The fact his family lived close and he couldn't stand being that far from them?

  
But possibly, just maybe, the true question, the truly real question, was what was keeping him here? Aside from his family, he had nothing. No friends, a crap job, an asshole of an ex who couldn't take a hint...not much, not much at all. What exactly was keeping him from going? What was stopping him?

  
Both very good questions in their own right, and he had the answer to both.

  
He'd been thinking about this whole deal from the first minute the farm was even mentioned in writing, debated it, thought it over....been yelled at by his boss at least once yesterday for being too in thought over it to focus on the files he was supposed to be sorting.

  
A new start...it'd mean a new start. He'd needed one for a long, long time. Maybe since he was sixteen, come to think of it. Weird how Grandpa had seemed to know he'd need this, but then again, his mother had always said his grandfather was a wise and learned man, that he'd seen a lot of the world and knew too much for one person to comprehend. He always just seemed to know what people needed.

  
Pressing the letter against his chest, he let a picture of the farm enter his mindspace, of what he could remember. He could hear birds chirping, could almost smell the fresh, country air...gosh, it--it sounded appealing. It sounded much more appealing the more he thought about it.

  
But his family...his mother, Jude, Jamie...heck, even Cole, who he had not seen in ages...could he just leave them like that? To just drop everything like his grandpa had and just...start over? Could he really do that?

  
Unintentionally, the paper crumpled in his hands and he gasped, shoving back into his pocket before he did anymore damage to it. He tried to put his hands back at the keyboard, to start work again, but he couldn't bring himself to. Not after thinking this much, not after that envisioning he'd done...not after picturing that farm. Picturing a better life...something he really, honest to God, needed.

  
_"Babe...text me sometime..."_

  
The phone buzzed again, louder, the ambiance seemed to heighten the more he stayed still.

  
_"He was wondering if you still liked collecting those little porcelain birds or not...why don't you go see him, Pep? He misses you, honey."_

  
A finger pressed onto the keyboard, but he found it moving to his mouse, and exiting out of the sales report still up.

  
_"If you value your paycheck, you'll have those reports to me when I want them. Got it?"_

  
Click. It was gone.

  
_"That doesn't mean you have to worry all the time though....hey, I'll be fine, we'll be fine, just wait and see..."_

  
He found himself turning off the computer as well, found himself pushing his chair back. Picking up an empty crate from underneath his desk, he began to pull various knick knacks from his desk...the mug Jamie had gotten for Christmas, a family picture, the porcelain birds, which he hesitated at, but continued. Some co-workers looked over as he picked his briefcase up, filing through it, most with confused expressions, but no one questioned him, given that they'd possibly get in trouble if they risked stepping away from their cubicles.

  
Soon, the entire desk was empty. No files left, no books, no pictures. Nothing but the computer.

  
His feet hit the floor at a rapid pace, running straight past standing co-workers, past security officers patrolling the area for slacking employees, and straight to his boss's office. A paper was gripped tightly in one hand, a pen in the other.

  
He pushed the door open, striding in to where Mr. Harris sat at his desk with a cup of coffee. The older man looked surprised to see Pepper entering, but did not get a chance to say anything, as a paper was slapped on his desk.

  
"What's the meaning of this, Maxwell? I thought I told you to be working on those sales reports--" he started, but the young man also slapped the company pen on the desk as well, standing back. Confused, he looked up, Pepper turning his head up at him. A more, confident look, was on his face, a rare look that he'd not possessed in a long time.

  
"Get someone else to do that report, Mr. Harris." he stated boldly. He gestured towards the paper he'd sat down. Mr. Harris, still confused, put on his reading glasses, and looked down at the paper. A small smirk came over Pepper's face as the look on the man's face melted into a dismayed expression.

  
"I--I, what--what do you mean by giving me this?" The lines on his face crinkled as he looked back up, almost looking like he demanded an explanation. But Pepper wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of one, and just crossed his arms, the smirk growing even bigger.

  
"It's quite simple actually." He nodded towards the paper again, then took off the lanyard around his neck bearing his ID on it. Tossing it towards his boss, he sighed, though it was one of content.

"I quit."

  
He couldn't hear the protests, or the fussing that came after that statement, because he'd turned around and left, the smirk transitioning into a wide smile as he headed back to his desk to gather his things. Up went the box, down he went in the elevator, and out he stepped into the city outside.

The smile couldn't seem to contain itself, not even as he waited for the bus to show up. Not with the thoughts in his mind right now, no.

  
No more city, no more Joja.

  
It was about time he took control again.

  
Life was going to get better this time, not like the other times where it'd only seemed it would. He was gonna make darn sure things were gonna change this time.

  
That was a promise he was gonna hold to himself.

* * *

  
_Dear Mayor Lewis,_  
_You don't know me, but I'm sure you knew my grandfather. William Keller, had a daughter named Carrie-Anne, lived on Mousey Farm? I hope that rings a bell, I don't know...apparently my grandfather was good enough friends with you that he requested I specifically say hi to you for him._

  
_Anyways...to save even more confusion, my name is Pepper Maxwell, William's grandson. I know if he ever mentioned me, it was probably at a different time...before I knew um, who I really was. So if you're expecting a girl, I'm just gonna go ahead and save you the trouble and tell you what to expect; a skinny, 4'8" guy with red hair and freckles._

  
_That's me._

  
_I'm 24, and I actually started transitioning at 13...I hope that's not too confusing, but I just wanna make sure I explain. Just so you don't expect differently of me, haha. I'm sure my grandpa told you many embarrassing stories about me, but I'm an entirely different person than I was back then._

  
_But see, the main reason I am writing this email is for this reason solely; I'm not sure if my grandpa ever mentioned it to you, but he left his farm in my name. And I was just curious...if it was still intact? I'm actually interested in moving onto it, now that I'm older...but I'll understand if you say no. I'm not sure how much of a good friend you were with my grandpa, anyways._

  
_I'd still like to discuss the manners of the farm with you, however, so message me back whenever you can. No rush._

  
_Best wishes, Pepper Maxwell._

* * *

  
Pepper's hands remained clasped on the table, his fingers twiddling out of anxiousness as his mother came over and sat down a tray of cocoa. Jude sat across from him, taking his own cup from the tray, and Jamie was leaned against the table, browsing her phone. She only reached to take a cup of cocoa when Carrie-Anne nudged her, then the other woman took her own seat beside her husband.

  
They both noted how quiet their son was being, how he hadn't even seemed to notice the presence of the cocoa, which was odd considering it was his favorite drink. His comfort drink, as he called it. The one thing that would calm his nerves next to Disney music, but even now he seemed too transfixed on whatever thoughts were in his mind to even notice.

  
It wasn't until his mother cleared her throat did he break from his trance.

  
"Honey," She smiled, although uncertainly, and gestured towards the cocoa tray with her head, as she was holding her own cup in her hands. "Cocoa's getting cold. C'mon."

  
He eyed the mug, noting the cheery snowman painted on the side. The one mug he'd drank out of as a kid, of course. Though it made him smile briefly, he only pulled the mug off the tray, yet didn't even bother drinking any of the chocolate beverage inside. The ceramic felt warm in his hands, a comfort to the cold clamminess previously there.

  
It was quiet; just a little. No one had really said much since he had shown up.

  
There had been the typical conversation, the greetings, then Pepper had said something about an announcement he had to make. He knew very well what this announcement was, but he found himself too scared to bring it up. Having practiced this conversation in his mind, at the bathroom counter, and even in bed, none of the scenarios had ended particularly well, maybe because he was too used to negative outcomes.

  
It didn't help that eye contact was nerve-wracking enough as it was; how he'd managed at Joja, he'd never know, especially considering how much eye contact his boss had always insisted on making with him.

  
_Well, ex-boss now._

  
He wondered what was going through his family's minds right now; given that he wasn't making eye contact and acting very strange. They must've thought something awful was up, something related to Seth, or something that had happened at work.  
Carrie-Anne was looking all but ready to spill, the way she nibbled at her lip, as she always did whenever she was nervous.

  
Jude on the other hand, only looked very suspicious. Both bushy eyebrows had remained pinned down, and he only gave off a condescending stare from underneath his eye glasses, making Pepper a little more anxious than he already was. It was a natural look for Jude though, God knows it'd taken him a long time to get used to it back when he and his mother had first married.

  
Jamie only remained casually leaned against the table, not even seeming to care. That was just her typical attitude though; she was probably the most caring person that Pepper knew, especially when it came to defending her family members. But he also knew how bored she got easily and him taking his sweet time in telling his family the news he had had obviously drummed down any interest she'd had.  
Though, she did spare him a glance every now and then.

  
He swore, it was almost like being on trial. Maybe they weren't intending to stare at him like they were, but with the way they were acting, you'd think he was getting ready to explode at any minute. Like he was a ticking time bomb just waiting to be set off.  
It was definitely not helping the situation any. Not in the slightest.

  
If was as if they were just waiting for him to crack. At least, he supposed, they weren't pressing him to say anything. When he'd shown hesitance, that was when his mother had left to make cocoa. That had been five minutes ago.  
Now, he quietly brought the mug to his lips, taking a small sip. The liquid burnt his tongue, his entire mouth to be exact, yet he swallowed anyways. Setting the mug down, he cleared his throat. His fingers tapped against the wooden table in a rat-a-tat-tat pattern, and he looked absent-mindedly at some family portraits hanging on the wall nearby.

  
He wondered how long he could get away with not saying anything.

  
It wasn't like he didn't wanna tell them, he really did! But there was just the fact...he wasn't sure how they'd take to the news that he'd be moving several hours away from them, that he was dropping everything and just moving to a farm he wasn't even sure was still intact.

  
_It's now or never, Pep._ His own voice spoke in his head, trying it's best to reassure him. _They have to know, it's not like you can just disappear without them knowing. They deserve to know, you have to tell them._

  
Damn it, he hated it when he was right.

  
But it was true, he had to tell them. At least, they deserved to know he was leaving. It was only fair.

  
So after a tenth mental pep talk, he pushed his cocoa aside and cleared his throat again, a little more loudly this time. Everyone seemed to alert at this.

  
"So...I guess you're all wondering what it is I wanted to talk about..." he started slowly, not sure how to go about explaining the details. Seeing how worried his mother had looked at his tone of voice, he cracked a reassuring smile and held a hand-up.

  
"Nah, Mom, it's okay. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me." Instantly, Carrie-Anne relaxed. "It's just...well, it's kinda about work..."

  
"What about work?" Jude sat his own mug down, scooting his chair forward. "Did something happen?"

  
"You weren't fired were you?" Came Jamie's sarcastic voice, earning a shush from her parents. Pepper held a laugh back at this, but shook his head.

  
"Um, no...the opposite actually..I um, I quit...." His voice lowered at the last word, but this still managed to cause a look of shock on both his mother and step-dad's faces. Jamie only snorted, texting something on her phone before shoving it into the pocket of her jeans.

"Huh, so I was close." She spun around, leaning down on the table with her hands now. "Well halle-fucking-lujah, I say it's about damn time you quit that job. It was sucking the fricking life outta you."

"Jamie, language!" Carrie-Anne hissed, then turned her attention to Pepper. "Pepper, what are you talking about? How could you just quit your own job like that, I thought you needed it!"

  
"Mom--"

  
"You know he only took it for the healthcare benefits, Mom." Jamie interrupted, but was promptly shushed again. She rolled her eyes and stood back from the table.

  
"You know what, I don't think this conversation involves me. I'm just gonna go work on my English paper." Her footsteps echoed down the hall as she left the kitchen, her parents seeming to wait until she'd left to speak again. Even watching her leave, they then looked back to Pepper, who was regretting breaking the news that he'd quit his job first, above everything.

  
"Sweetie, look. I know you hated that job, but you needed the money..." His mother started, her face full of concern. The wrinkles under her eyes seemed to increase how old she actually looked, had even done that when she was younger. "I know, it's not the job you wanted but you were actually supporting yourself. You were doing fine, weren't you?"

  
"Was I doing just fine? Are you serious?" Pepper almost had to laugh, in fact, did not refraining from laughing harshly at his mother's statement. He crossed his arms, falling back in the seat. "Oh yeah, I was doing great. I was the fastest typer in the building, the fastest file sorter. I was the go-to guy to take over when it was supposed to be my day off, just because some other co-worker had conveniently gotten sick--"

  
"Honey..."

  
"And it doesn't help, that I can't focus on work because my asshole of an ex is texting me 24/7 and sometimes--even showing up unannounced when I'm trying to get a sales report done." he only continued, not even giving either older adult a chance to interrupt him. "And I only get to sleep for about 5 hours per night because I've otherwise got too much on my mind to even get a decent night's sleep, thus why I walk around a zombie 24/7."

  
He didn't know why he was acting so blunt, but he couldn't help it. It'd been a long time that he'd help this stuff inside of him, and now, this was the result. Leaning forward, he slammed both hands on the table, not aggressively though, but with force enough to shake it.

  
"Oh yeah, I'm doing just fantastic. That job, was amazing. That's why I quit it." A smile crossed his face, perhaps one out of smugness or spite. "No, I'm done being someone else's lackey. I've decided I wanna get more out of my life, Mom. Don't you understand that? I don't wanna be stuck at a desk job until I'm fifty-seven."

  
Carrie-Anne looked stunned her son's words, and she looked down, into her mug.

  
"Now you're sounding just like your father..." she murmured, Jude frowning and instantly grabbed onto her arm, rubbing his fingers against it gently. Pepper felt a slight prick of regret for his word choice, but who was he to help how he talked? Not that he'd ever had any affection for his father, but if there was anything he'd inherited from the man, it was his spitfire.

  
"Mom, I'm sorry..."

  
"No, no. Don't apologize." She looked back up, her face just slightly flushed. "I understand. Your father was the same way at your age...he never liked being tied down. He never liked where he was, he let me know all the time. I thought I was past that."

  
"Yeah, well he was also a damn jerk. I might not like being tied down, Mom, but I'd never talk to you like he did." Pepper reached across the table, grabbing his mother's hand. "I swear, his outlook on life is all of him that I am, I love you. I love all of you, that's why I was hesitant in telling you guys."

  
He squeezed her hand, and he felt relief at seeing the small, sad smile coming onto her face. Her other hand overlapped his, patting it.

  
"I know, honey. And we love you too." Both she and Jude smiled at him now, though both were sad, nervous smiles. "But we just want what's best for you, especially after everything you've been through. If quitting your job..."

  
"If it makes you happy," Jude continued, as Carrie-Anne had paused mid-speech. "We're not mad at you over it. We just don't want to see back at a negative point in your life, that's all. Just how are you planning to support yourself now, though? That's our main concern, son, that's all we're worried about."

  
Though they would've expected him to hesitate, he didn't. Instead, his face brightened and he perked up in his seat, giving his mother's hand another reassuring squeeze.

  
"That's the better part of what I've got to tell you." He licked his lips, noting how dry they actually felt, but squirmed forward in his seat. How he worded these next words were vital; he had to make sure he didn't sound like a rambling idiot. "Mom...do you...uh, do you remember the farm Grandpa had?"

  
"Do I?" His mother released a short laugh and grabbed her mug. "Honey, you know I grew up there."

"Semi-grew up, you were fourteen when Grandpa moved there."

  
"Well, yes." Carrie-Anne sipped her cocoa. "Fair point, but what's yours? What does the farm have to do with you quitting your job?"

  
"It has everything to do with that." Pepper brightened even more, the visions of the farm filling his mind again. It excited him to talk about, making him feel his actual age instead of the ancient age that Joja had made him feel like. "You remember how you took me and Cole to visit, on my fourth birthday? You remember the envelope that Grandpa left me?"

  
"Envelope?" His mother squinted, Jude even looking confused. At last, it had seemed to dawn on her and she nodded. "I think, yeah. What about it?"

  
Before he answered, her eyes widened and she sat her mug down, placing both hands on the table.

  
"Wait. Did you finally open it?" He nodded, almost without hesitation, and with eagerness like a child's.

  
"Yeah. Last week, actually." His hands went back to their previous folded position, though his fingers didn't twiddle out of anxiousness this time, instead, they twiddled with excitement. "Turns out, he left the deed to the farm in my name. It's been mine for nearly twenty years at this rate."

  
"Are you serious?" Such a question might've been regarded as upset, but instead Carrie-Anne seemed very intrigued, almost sharing her son's excitement. Though Jude looked a little dubious, he still listened as Pepper nodded again.  
"Yeah, very serious." he half-chuckled. "It's all mine, Mom. The whole place. I already emailed the mayor of the town already, so basically I'm just waiting for the go-ahead to move in."

  
"Wait--what?" This changed his mother's mood instantly, as well as his step-dad's. Both of them now looked alarmed. "You're--you're moving? You already decided?"

  
"Well yeah, I already quit my job." Pepper snorted, but he grew solemn at the looks on his parents' faces. Noting how visibly shocked they were, he scooted his chair as close as he could, and now grabbed onto each of their hands.  
"Guys...look. I need this." he said, quietly. "I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I--I need a change of pace. If you want me to be happy, just let me go. I know I'll be far away but...please. I really, really need this. In fact, I want it too."

  
Well, he'd just said all those words without stumbling over them. He should give himself a pat on the back. Now it seemed to be simmering in both of the older adults' minds. They both remained quiet for a good minute, before Jude exchanged a glance with his wife, speaking first.

  
"He's grownup, Carrie." he said. "If he wants to leave, I think he should. He already made the decision without us, after all."

  
Carrie-Anne opened her mouth to speak back at this, but upon realizing her husband had a point, she sullenly nodded. Taking a deep breath, she looked back to the waiting Pepper, and put a shaky smile on her face.

  
"If it's what you want, sweetie..." Her voice sounded equally as shaky, almost like it was gonna crack. "You have our blessing."

  
Pepper felt a wave of relief come over him.

  
"Thanks, guys. Thanks." He let himself smile again, though this time it felt more genuine given that he knew his family was 100 percent supportive of his decision. They always had been supportive; always. When he was transitioning, they'd been there for him, and even when he'd come out as gay after his high school graduation, that hadn't even been as big as an ordeal as he'd feared it would be.

  
Just a pat on the back from Jude, a smile from his mother, and a laugh from Jamie.

  
Then they'd all gone out for pizza.

  
But Cole...

  
Cole hadn't said anything. He wasn't even there, couldn't have been.

  
That was a given. That was a thought in the back of his mind.

* * *

  
_Dear Mr. Maxwell,_  
_So good to finally hear from you at last! Your grandfather always spoke so fondly of you as a child; it's a pleasure to actually be speaking to you now. William was a wonderful man, someone I was honored to call my friend. We were actually on excellent terms for a long time, I even knew your mother, in fact._

  
_I think I might have even seen you once when you were here a long time ago, like, how many years? Ah, I don't know. But you're different now, you say? Nothing to worry about here, I might be an old timer but I've tried to be more open minded to how society operates nowadays. It's just a little odd to get used to, I suppose, but regardless, I appreciate that you took the time to explain it to me._

  
_So, you're interested in moving onto your grandpa's old farm, huh? Well forgive me for being so blunt, but it's about time! That place has seen better years, but it's not beyond any repair. I still have the legal documents, all you'd have to do is sign them and the place is yours. I've tried to maintain it myself, but you know that is, when you're the mayor and all. Don't get much time for anything else._

  
_But, as I've stated, all you really have to do is move down here and sign the documents. Just a small legal issue, but nothing too complicated. We'd definitely welcome a new farmer down here, in fact, could use one honestly. Pelican Town's a great place, I think you'd fit in just fine here._

  
_I hope to hear from you soon!_

  
_Best regards,_  
_Mayor Lewis_


	5. Chapter Three

To Shane, his ideal night was an evening in front of the television. Remote in hand, as he flipped through channel after channel until he finally settled on a channel that was showing some old sitcom reruns. His shoes kicked off beneath him, feet propped on the coffee table, and a frozen pizza sitting beside him on the couch. Whilst the remote stayed in one hand, a beer can was clutched in the other.  
  
_That,_ was his ideal night.  
  
Well, that or a night out in the city. And getting to see a gridball game.  
  
But given that neither of those things were an option at the moment, he had to settle for the most basic type of evening possible. Which, at this rate in his life, was a routine evening.  
  
An evening he would've gladly settled into had his aunt not conveniently forgotten to grab the pasta she needed to make supper that night.  
  
So, of being at home like he so desired, where did he find himself instead?  
  
His place of work.  
  
Not working, thank God. He'd be damned if he had to take on a night shift, but thankfully most of the townspeople were in bed before late, so late shifts had never been a necessity. Heck, it wasn't even like he liked being here outside of work hours, God knows he saw enough of his boss in those hours. He didn't need any extra ones to tack on.  
  
But, it wasn't his fault he got out of work at the same time Pierre decided to close his shop for the night. And that was only at 5:00! No wonder he was having trouble staying in business.  
  
With no other options, he'd begrudingly trudged back to the store and was now standing in one of the various aisles, holding two jars of pasta sauce in his hands. He couldn't believe he was still debating over which to get, it wasn't like it even mattered. Every sauce tasted the same to him, maybe he was just procastinating having to walk the long way back to the ranch.  
  
This damn sauce was literally the last item Marnie had requested, yet his brain had decided to be fickle on which one to get. Pasta sauce, of all the fucking things...  
  
Grumbling, he shoved one jar back onto the shelf and tossed the other into the basket he was carrying. Not that he'd even bothered to check which one he grabbed, hell if he cared. He wasn't looking forward to walking all the way back home but at the same time, he didn't wanna be stuck in this frigid building any longer than he had to be.  
  
His attention went to further down the aisle, expecting to see Jas still sitting on one of the lower, empty shelves. He'd sent her to grab the garlic bread whilst he debated over the pasta sauce, and hadn't even decided when she'd returned. So she'd taken to moping while he'd continued questioning his life choices.  
  
Of course, he wasn't surprised to see she wasn't there.  
  
This didn't stop him from feeling slightly alarmed, and he walked from the aisle he was currently in and out into the open. It didn't take long to find Jas at one of the checkout lines, inspecting the rack of candy that just seemed to be perfectly displayed for  
little children to be tempted by.  
  
Though he did feel some relief, he shook his head whilst sighing and headed over to her. She heard his footsteps, standing back up to join him as he approached. Smiling brightly, she held her hands behind her back, which was not at all a suspicious act.  
  
Shane cocked an eyebrow at her, though the rest of his face remained as unamused as ever. He held his hand out, Jas only eyeing it innocently before hanging her head in shame and handing over the lollipop she'd attempt to confisicate.  
  
"Thought about slipping that in the basket, were we?" he lightly scolded her while putting the treat back in place. She shrugged, kicking one foot at the tiled ground.  
  
"I dunno..."  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?" He eyed her, with a small smirk.  
  
"I just..." Another shrug. "I dunno."  
  
"Mm. Sure."  
  
Of course, she had no legit response to this, and just smiled at him again. This, was naturally a response in hopes of getting the lollipop back, but the look Shane returned to her told this was not a night she'd been getting any sweets on. Especially with it  
being so close to supper, if not being several minutes after it.  
  
Still, he ruffled her hair before heading to the checkout to pay for the items in his basket.  
  
Upon paying for their few items, both Shane and Jas departed out in the warm spring evening. No one else was really out right now, save for Clint who was headed over to the saloon. It was where Shane would also prefer to go as well, if this wasn't currently a Sunday. Marnie preferred to have him home for supper on Sundays, seeing as he never ate at home on weekdays.  
  
Not that he had anything against her home cooking, but he'd grown too accustomed to the taste of frozen meals. Far too accustomed for his own good, she'd said. She did seem to take a bit of offense he preferred eating those by himselves rather than  
eating a nice warm meal with his family.  
  
But the frozen meals were part of the routine he'd designated for himself. Maybe he just didn't like having to sit at the table and have to talk about his day, when nothing really exciting had happened. It was just the same thing week after week, really.  
Nothing new to report, which was another reason he wasn't in a hurry to get home.  
  
It was already slightly dark outside, the sun could be seen setting from beyond several buildings. Jas skipped ahead of Shane, singing some nursery rhyme to herself as she hopped the cobblestones. She only stopped when they came to a two-way point,  
gasping as Shane turned in the downwards direction that they usually took back home.  
  
"Shane, wait!" He stopped, inwardly groaning as he turned back to face her.  
  
"I told you to tie your shoes before we left, Jas..." he mumbled. But she huffed, seeming to take offense to his statement. Her fists, although curled, were placed on her hips.  
  
" _Seriously_ , Shane? Look!" she protested. She thrust one foot forward to display the Mary-Jane strap shoes she was wearing. He snorted.  
  
"Okay, my bad. What's the issue, then?"  
  
"It's about our route home. I think we need to change it." Her fists left her sides, and she pointed a chubby finger towards the direction opposite the one they were going. "We always go the same way, past Vincent's house. I wanna go a different way."  
  
"And you know there's no other way home, Jas." He rolled his eyes, puffing slightly from the weight of the paper bags he was carrying. "Come on, let's just go this way. Marnie wants us home before it gets too dark, besides this way's quicker. We'll be home  
sooner this way."  
  
"But--"  
  
"But nothing. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with this way." Shane turned around again, fully prepared to start walking again. "What's with the sudden need to go in that direction, anyways? There's nothing there."  
  
"Vincent said there was, though." Jas's feet tapped against the ground as she ran to catch up with him. "He said there was a building over there. A whole lotta fences too."  
  
"Sure. So he was trespassing, then?"  
  
"No!" Jas squeaked. "I mean--wait, what's trespassing?"  
  
"Huhh, well..." Shane shoved one bag aside, stopping mid-walk. "Let's see. That's a fancy word for being on someone's private property, and they haven't given you permission to be there. What was Vincent even doing there, anyways?"  
  
"He got lost while he was berry-picking with Sam." Jas hopped over a crack. "He keeps trying to get Miss Penny to take us there for a field trip but she said it's too dangerous, that we could end up hurting ourselves. She said we could cut ourselves on  
something. "  
  
"And she's got a point. You don't wanna end up having to get a tetanus shot, do you?"  
  
Jas stopped walking as well, her face scrunching at the idea of having to get a shot. Shane did not blame her at all. He couldn't say he was too fond of needles himself.  
  
"See, exactly." He pointed the best he could, with the hand carrying the paper bag. "Now let's get this stuff home, okay?"  
  
"But Shane...  
  
"No more buts, you aren't convincing me to walk on someone else's private property." he huffed again, readjusting the bags into both of his arms. "It's none of our business what's really there, so let's just try to be back before the moon decides to come out."  
  
Defeated, Jas hung her head and kicked at a stray pebble on the road. The two trudged down the path in silence, though it didn't take long for the girl to speak up again. Her mood was not one that was kept down for long, even if she didn't get what she want. It was something Shane appreciated, especially knowing bratty most kids her age tended to act. He was just grateful she'd been raised differently.  
  
"But--but don't you wanna know what's actually there?" she piped up, trying her best to keep up with him, which wasn't difficult considering how slothlike he was walking. "Aren't you curious?"  
  
"Not really." he admitted very dryly, which caused Jas to pout. Still, she kept talking, as was expected.  
  
"Well, I don't think anyone lives there. Vincent said he knocked on the door and no one answered." she continued, talking quick enough that Shane had to do a double take to make sure he'd heard what she said. "I think I overheard Mayor Lewis telling Aunt Marnie about too; he mentioned something about an old friend of his who used to live there."  
  
"You overheard them?" Shane cracked a sly grin down at her, though his arms were very much aching from the weight of the bags. "Or were you eavesdropping?"  
  
"No, I overheard them!" she insisted, looking once again offended at her god-father's words. "I was doing my homework in the kitchen when they were talking about it. He said his friend moved to the farm a long time ago, that it's been abandoned ever since  
he died."  
  
"How about that..."  
  
"Yeah, I thought it was weird." A warm waft of air hit the two of them as they crossed onto the dirt road nearing Marnie's house. "Mayor Lewis also said his friend had a daughter too. And grandkids! How come they didn't move in after he died?"  
  
"Search me, maybe they had their own lives to live." Shane shrugged, halting briefly at the front door. He sat the bags down and reached to grab the doorknob. "It's really none of your business, Jas. I don't think you should think about it too much."  
  
"Maybe not, but that's not even the weirdest part." Jas stood back as Shane pushed the front door open. "Vincent said he saw someone, behind some trees. He said they were floating, and he could see through them! You think it was a ghost?"  
  
"Nah, ghosts aren't real." Shane picked the bags back up, wincing at a sharp pain in his back. Grunting, he refrained a yelp, grabbing at his back with his one free hand. Upon noticing Jas's concern, he tried to get back to the current topic, even if it wasn't one  
he wasn't remotely interested in. Better than having her asking questions about other topics he didn't wanna talk about either.  
  
"Hey. Knowing Vincent, he probably just made that up to scare you." he stated. "Just forget about it."  
  
Albeit still looking a bit doubtful, Jas nodded.  
  
"Shane? Jas?" Both snapped their heads towards the inside of the house, where they could hear Marnie's voice from the kitchen. "I hear you two talking out there, get inside will you? I already have the stove heating up!"  
  
"Yes ma'am, we're coming!" Shane sighed, and took a step into the house. Jas followed, although quietly. She seemed a little more down after the ending of that conversation, and he did feel bad for crushing her imagination like that, but it was just a natural  
reaction. He'd never been allowed the privilege of having that kind of imagination at her age, maybe he should lighten up a bit.  
  
But ghosts were definitely not a thing. Imagining it was one thing, but to actually believe...nah. Shane was a simple guy; and he didn't need the complications of spirits and magical creatures trying to mess the natural balance of life up. Didn't want it, in fact.  
  
Something Jas had said did strike him as slightly curious though; what she'd said about that place being abandoned, why nobody had moved there. He vaguely remembered hearing Marnie mention it before while they were out in town the day before.  
  
Something Mayor Lewis had told her(no doubt on one of his secret rendevous), about one of the grandkids of the old farmer who used to live there.  
  
Not that Shane himself had ever known the guy, he'd only moved here last year, after all.  
  
But about that grandkid...apparently they were coming down to the valley this week to check the place out.  
  
These thoughts in mind, as he put the bags down on the counter, he could only chuckle at.  
  
It wasn't something he'd mentioned to Jas, but he'd seen that place once. It was the biggest dump heap he'd ever seen before next to his room.  
  
If this wasn't a rumor and this new guy was actually coming, good golly did he have his work cut out for him.  
  
But that was nothing he cared about; as he'd said to Jas, it wasn't her business, and it wasn't his either. His only business right now was managing.  
  
And, getting these groceries unloaded he supposed.

* * *

  
_"Are you sure you're good to drive...?" A timid, fourteen year old Pepper asked, buckling in his seatbelt across from his brother. The grown man had chucked a beer can into the cupholder, laughing slightly, and nodding, albeit sloppily._  
  
_"C'mon Pep, have you ever doubted me?"_  
  
_"Well..."_  
  
_"Seriously, it's not like you can drive anyways. Just be my extra eyes, okay?"_  
  
_But he hadn't been his extra eyes._  
  
_He'd only wrote in his journal instead, in-tune with the radio. Hadn't heard the car that was whirring towards them, out of control. Hadn't stopped to warn his brother, had realized too late._  
  
_He remembered the faint smell of a burnt engine._  
  
_And the feeling of wet, sticky blood on his jacket, alongside the horrible, crippling pain upon seeing the crushed form beside him._  
  
_He didn't remember how loud he'd screamed._  
  
_But his throat had hurt. Had hurt so badly, until the paramedics finally showed up._  
  
_By then, his vocal chords had already gone raw._

* * *

  
Pepper startled awake, blood rushing to his head. He didn't know how long he'd drifted off for or when, but the entire sequence of events in his dream had been enough to cause his arms to shake. He only realized they were shaking when he reached down to pick up his iPod.  
  
It was still playing the classical music he'd had playing when he left, though all he could hear now was his heartbeat through the earbuds. Inhaling deeply, he switched playlists to a Disney one instead, leaning back in his seat as "Try Everything" began  
blasting in his ears.  
  
It'd probably been almost half a day now that'd he been on this bus; it did feel quite weird to be away from home, this far, anyways. It'd been such a long time since he'd actually been this far, and he just couldn't shake off the feeling of how odd it felt. Like  
he was in charge of his life, for once, he was in charge.  
  
It felt odd, yes. But it also felt good.  
  
He just hated that his mind had picked that memory to dream about.  
  
While he wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been on the bus, he knew it'd been awhile. He'd counted exactly five rest-stops since the bus had left Zuzu City, and it had been at least 6 in the morning when he'd left. It was bright outside now, so he could only  
deduct it was possibly early afternoon.  
  
The journal he'd gotten for his birthday lay displayed out on his lap, half a scribble being written down with the pen resting in the center. He must've fallen asleep while writing, because he couldn't really remember what he'd been writing about, or where he'd even left off.  
  
He traced his finger down the page to the last sentence he'd written.  
  
_"Although I'm anxious, and apprehensive, I find myself eager for this new start."_  
  
Ah, right.  
  
Picking the pen back up, he began writing again.  
  
_"This doesn't change the fact I'm still having dreams...about everything in the past. I guess it just won't leave no matter where I go, or where I am."_ The song continued blaring through his earbuds. _"But I'm not letting that weigh me down. I'm giving myself_  
_this chance to get better."_  
  
Clicking the pen, he closed the journal and shoved it back into his pack that sat in the seat beside him. Sighing, he dropped both his hands in his lap, and opted towards looking out the window. He never had really taken the time to notice just how green it  
was now; how blue the sky was, even. It was definitely a pleasant sight, he couldn't help but feel more at peace looking at that more than the ugly buildings and grey skies back in the city.  
  
That was something he'd scribble down in his journal later, for sure. He hadn't been sure what to use the empty book for at first, given that that was usually what Jude and his mother got him for birthdays. He'd had so many filled up, ones with his own thoughts, his own words of fiction. It was really his way of coping, of dealing with his problems...so he'd decided, since most of those journals were full of negativity, this one would be filled with nothing but positive things.  
  
For this was the start of good things.  
  
This journal was gonna document his new life, and hopefully, it'd be more of a cheery read than his other ones.  
  
As the song finished, the bus passed by a green sign perched on the side of the road, causing Pepper's face to break out into a wide grin.  
  
_"Stardew Valley. 0.5 Miles."_

* * *

 

It wasn't until his iPod had finished playing half the soundtrack to Mary Poppins did the bus finally come to a hault. Pepper perked up, at hearing the bus driver's voice over the intercom.  
  
"Pelican Town, Stardew Valley." His deep voice boomed loudly, through the ending of the song currently finishing up. Almost like an eager child, Pepper had jumped from his seat and gathered his things up, these things being his backpack, and four suitcases. Most of his other belongings were still being shipped over; he'd really only packed the necessities for now.  
  
Necessities being half his wardrobe; and half the books he owned.  
  
And the movies.  
  
Yeah. He definitely had his priorities sorted didn't he?  
  
He all but stumbled off the bus, having to apologize twice to several other passengers. Even the bus driver cut him a look as he got off, after getting pelted by one of the brown suitcases Pepper was carrying. A sheepish grin was all he could offer before stepping out, and having the doors shut in his face.  
  
Each suitcase hit the ground, and the bus whirred off behind him. The sound of birds chirping replaced the music as Pepper pulled out his earbuds. It was almost like being in a Disney movie himself, now that he was really able to get in a good view of his new surroundings. The air was so warm, warmer than the city air, and he found himself absolutely mesmerized at a family of butterflies that flocked past him.  
  
He took off the hoodie he was previously wearing, tying it around his waist, and allowed his vision to shift up to the sky, sinking in the absolute blueness, the puffy clouds...he just couldn't believe all of this was real. It was hard to believe a place like this could exist outside of movies, it just felt like he was in some lucid dream.  
  
But, his arms ached from having lifted the suitcase, so maybe that was evidence enough that he was awake. In a daze, he almost forgot he was still holding his backpack, and almost dropped it.  
  
Gasping, he adjusted it back onto his shoulders, but was promptly startled by a rustling noise from nearby, seeing it was just a squirrel, who had by now scampered into a nearby oak tree. Chuckling to himself, he shook his head and finished readjusting his  
backpack, then looked around, squinting, and shielding his eyes from the bright light.  
  
The last few days before coming, he'd spent packing and messaging Mayor Lewis. The older man had proven to be quite pleasant, and they'd even spoken over the phone the previous night before. He'd told Pepper he'd be there to greet at around 12:00, and even as he checked his phone now, the time showed it was promptly five minutes past 12.  
  
But there was no sign of the older man anywhere.  
  
Confused, he almost thought to bring up his contacts and try calling him again, but was interrupted by a cheery female voice calling out to him.  
  
"Hello there!"  
  
Almost dropping his phone, Pepper looked up to see a red-haired woman, at least a few years younger than his own mother and dressed in a fur-lined jacket, approaching him with a bright smile on her face. She huffed a bit as she ran up to greet him,  
pausing to catch her breath.  
  
"Hey...hey..." Formerly bent over, she straightened, extending her hand to him. "Hey, Pepper, right? Nice to finally meetcha, I'm Robin!"  
  
A little confused, Pepper only managed to awkwardly return her smile and accepted her handshake. He was a little surprised to find how calloused her hands felt, but he made no remark on this and slipped his own hand free.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Hi, yeah." Shyly, he stepped back, clearing his throat. "Yeah, Pepper. That's me, who else would it be..."  
  
At seeing Robin's puzzled expression, he laughed and grabbed onto his backpack strap.  
  
"Sorry, I'm just a little...uh, disoriented..." he apologized, though it was only half the truth. "I kinda nodded off the way over here and I'm still a bit tired."  
  
"Ah! That's understandable, my son's the same way." Robin snickered and gave a wave of her hand. "Sleeps in late, gets up late, yet he still complains about being tired. Sometimes I forget he's actually an adult, you know?"  
  
Pepper only snorted and gave a half-shrug.  
  
"Yeah, I forget that about myself sometimes." he admitted. "But hey, not that this conversation isn't fun, but I'm just a little confused...Mayor Lewis, um, if you know him--he said he was gonna be meeting me here--"

"Ah, yeah. I was getting to that." Robin stepped back, brushing her red bangs out of her face. "He's actually back at the farm right now, tidying things up for you. He sent me over to fetch you in case he wasn't done in time."  
  
"Which I'm guessing, he's not..." Pepper's voice trailed off, and his eyes searched past Robin towards the path behind them, searching for any sign that the man might be coming. Nothing except for some random rabbit running into a bush. Robin shook her  
head, as if to confirm.  
  
"Apparently not. That's why I decided to go ahead and come over, just in case." she said. "Say, you gonna need any help carrying those?"  
  
She motioned towards the suitcases Pepper had sat on the ground. He looked, tipping his head. It was only his first day here and he didn't really wanna be a burden; but he had to admit he wasn't the strongest person in the universe. Yet at the same time, he didn't wanna impose by having someone else carry his stuff for him. He was supposed to be doing things for himself now, damn it.  
  
"Um...no, nah. I've got 'em."  
  
Robin offered him a suspicious look as he stooped down to pick his suitcases up, stepping aside with a hand on her hip. By the way he struggled to even lift the heavy baggage, you could tell he'd packed more than he'd intended, just by looking. In Robin's eyes, the young man almost looked like he'd break in half from the strain his baggage was causing him.  
  
Not wanting to watch him struggle anymore, she sighed and took one of the suitcases from him. His eyes almost widened at how she lifted it with ease, but then he had to remind himself she was the town carpenter and probably chopped down more trees than he lifted weights. Which to be fair, he'd never actually done.  
  
"Thanks--um, sorry..." he mumbled, blushing a light red. "Sorry, I think I might have overpacked. Usually I don't have this much trouble...uh, carrying things..."  
  
He expected a laugh of ridicule, or a scolding even(maybe because he was so used to it from Seth), but thankfully, Robin's cheerful smile returned and she just shrugged casually.  
  
"It's fine, we all have bad days." she stated. "Sometimes I can't even get a big load of wood back myself without having to get my son or husband to help me. Hell, sometimes my daughter's a better help than the two of them put together."  
  
"You have a daughter?"  
  
"Yup, two kids. Maru and Sebastian." Robin lifted the suitcase onto her shoulder. "Maru's my youngest, Sebastian's my oldest, I think he's around your age, actually. At least, you look the same age as him, huh. How old did you say you were?"  
  
"I didn't say, but thanks for asking." Pepper picked the other suitcase up, shrugging his sliding backpack up his shoulders again. "Most people I meet assume I'm thirteen."  
  
"Goodness, really?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm twenty four though." The young man gave a small snort, but was shortly thrown off balance as a bee whirred past him. Shaking himself, he regained his composure and looked back to Robin. "I actually celebrated my birthday last week."  
  
"Did you now?" The woman smiled back at him with a look that reminded him of his mother. It made him feel a little homesick already.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Oh, happy late birthday then!" Robin gave him a pat on the shoulder and turned. "I guess you're pretty eager to see the farm then, huh? I bet it's gonna be just like a late birthday present."  
  
"I'm hoping so." Pepper smiled weakly, knowing that that was the exact opposite of what he was wanting it to be. But then again, he supposed a birthday present was something you wanted...and he wanted a new start. Maybe she had a point.  
  
"Well, enough standing around then, I'll show you the way." He blinked to see that Robin was already heading down the dirt path. She looked back at him and waved, almost too eagerly.  
  
"Come on then, Pepper. While we're young!"  
  
For some reason, his feet suddenly felt heavy. It wasn't because of the old shoes he was wearing, but for the sole purpose of that he was suddenly feeling terrified. What was he gonna see on that property? It'd been years, many years, since he'd been  
there...what if it wasn't like he remembered?  
  
God, he didn't have time to worry or think about this. These were thoughts that should have been bothering him on the way over here, not now. Not now of all times when he had another person waiting on him. She'd probably already left by now, since he was still standing there like he'd pinned down to the ground.  
  
But Robin was still waiting by the fence, leaning against it. She seemed to be waiting patiently, not in too much of a hurry despite her previous tone having indicated it. His arms shook, but he curled his fists together tightly.  
  
Fuck it.  
  
He was just gonna have to take the risk that his farm might be a junkyard by now. If his life had been a dump heap at one point and he was still managing by now, how could a dirty farm make anything worse?  
  
It was his farm, after all.  
\--  
  
It was a ten minute walk back to the farm, yet it went by slowly. The whole time, Robin attempted to make small talk with Pepper by asking him about his previous life, though he didn't seem to wanna talk about it much. He mentioned that his mom was a fantastic cook, and that he had a step-dad who worked in construction, and a step-sister back home who was taking online classes to get an Associate in Arts.  
  
When she'd asked him about any other siblings, he'd just fallen silent. He'd mumbled that he did have a brother, but hadn't seen him in a long time. How he'd hated to just brush Robin off like that, but talking about Cole wasn't something he enjoyed doing.  
He enjoyed it just about as much as he liked talking about Seth, mainly for the fact that both topics brought up painful memories.  
  
Of course, Robin had had enough experience talking to her own kids that she knew she might be going too far, and wisely decided to change the topic.  
  
"So..." She ducked under a thick tree branch, narrowly avoiding hitting her head. "You said you've been to your grandpa's farm before, yeah? When was that?"  
  
"Oh..." Not so surprisingly, Pepper didn't have to duck as he passed under the branch. Now she was beginning to see why people mistook for him a child. "I don't know, I was probably like...god, like four years old? It's been such a long time, honestly, I'm  
surprised I even remember going there."  
  
"It's odd, but I wouldn't question it. Heck if I'd like to have a memory that good." Robin admitted, lowering the suitcase from her shoulder. "I bet you're excited to be back though."  
  
"Excited? Yeah, and really nervous." Pepper gave a nervous laugh as if to further prove his point. "I've never been this far away from my family before, you don't even know how shot my nerves are right now."  
  
"I'm sure you'll be fine." The older woman reassured him as they crossed over a small bridge. "It's always scary moving to a new place, no matter how old you are. Take it from me, Pepper, I moved here when I was your age and was probably just as terrified as you are now."  
  
They stopped, and she turned to him with a sympathetic look.  
  
"But I will tell you, you have nothing to worry about though, everyone here is so friendly and welcoming." She smiled warmly at him, making the twisting knots in his stomach cease momentarily. "Soon enough, I'm certain you'll be counted as a real member of the community!"  
  
"Thanks Robin, I appreciate the pep talk." He grinned, a small grin, but nontheless he did have to admit he felt better now. Her words did reassure him a bit, but it didn't change the fact that there were parts of him that refused to calm down.  
  
"Hey, anytime, kiddo." A bird chirping nearby caused her head to turn, and she squinted as she looked forward. "I don't think it's much farther now, come on."  
  
The two of them continued on the path for a while more. Pepper began to pipe up a bit as they neared the farm, though his nerves still shook. He began to tell Robin about the time he'd scared off one of the chickens into the woods and they'd spent the  
entire day looking for it because he felt so bad about freaking it out.  
  
Telling these little stories did squat to help him relax, but it felt nice to be remembering such nice memories, and to be sharing them with someone. Someone he actually felt comfortable talking around.  
  
"So let me get this straight;" Robin stepped aside, pushing back a large branch. "You literally spent the entire day looking for one chicken? One chicken? Just how beat up were you over it?"  
  
"More than you could imagine." Pepper chuckled softly, passing by her. He heard her snort and rolled his eyes. "Hey, don't judge me. I was like four years old, okay?"  
  
"I'm not judging you, trust me." Robin snorted again, running a little bit up the path. "That just reminded me of the time my son's pet frog got loose in the house. I can't help but remind him of it constantly, he hates it."  
  
"I sympathize with him, my mother's the same way." Pepper raised his eyebrows, grabbing his backpack strap with his free hand. "Can't say I'm on your side here, Robin."  
  
"Hey, you'd understand if you were a parent, Pepper." Robin pointed out. "We all feel like it's our duty to remind our kids of the embarrassing things they did when they were little. When you have kids, don't say I didn't tell you so."  
  
"Heh, yeah..."  
  
"Believe me, kid. It's a parent thing." A squirrel past the two of them and ran up into a tree. Robin looked up and stopped walking, sitting down the suitcase. She turned to face Pepper as he caught up with her. She spread her arms out.  
  
"And here we are!" She was beaming. "Welcome to your new home, Mousey Farm."  
  
He looked. And his jaw dropped. Maybe not in the good way.  
  
No, it definitely wasn't how he remembered it. Not at all. Trees, overgrown everywhere. Weeds, fallen branches, logs. Stones.  
  
His voice felt like it'd just leapt out of him, because he couldn't find anything to say. Rendered speechless, stunned. This felt like the time Jamie had convinced him to do the ice bucket challenge for her Youtube channel, only the shocker wasn't a bucket of ice water.  
  
It was the fact that his farm was nothing more than an overgrown waste of land. It wasn't as bad as his initial reaction made it out to be, but it definitely had seen better days.  
  
Robin eyed him, noting his stunned silence and how he had neglected to scrape his jaw off the ground. Concerned, she walked over to him.  
  
"Hey, what's the matter?"  
  
"I--I uh--um--" Pepper turned towards her and weakly lifted a finger, pointing vaguely at the area surrounding them. "Farm. Yeah. Um--"  
  
"Oh! Yeah, I doubt it isn't as good as you remember it, am I right?"  
  
He couldn't even manage a nod, just a warbled choking noise from his throat. Sighing, Robin turned to look around at the farm.  
  
"Sure, okay. It's definitely a bit overgrown, but I don't think that you should stop you." she said. "With a bit of hard work, you'll have it cleaned up in no time. No need to panic yet."  
  
"Bu--but--all the weeds--" Pepper stuttered, wondering if the area in his brain that controlled speech had been crippled by shock. "The rocks--god, this place--it's like a forest! Where did all these trees come from?"  
  
"Don't question it, Pepper. Come on, let's just get you settled in." Robin picked his suitcase back up, alongside the other one he'd previously been carrying. "I'm pretty sure Mayor Lewis has already heard us by now."  
  
And she was correct on that, because as she went over to the house, an older gentleman exited from the front door. He looked delighted at seeing Robin and immediately began speaking to her, but Pepper was still frozen in the same spot he'd been in upon showing up. His legs didn't feel pinned down now, they felt encased in ice. He literally couldn't move.  
  
_What had he gotten himself into?_  
  
"Ah, the new farmer!" A loud, jolly voice startled him into reality, and he found that the mayor had approached him while he was lost in thought. The other man was standing in front of him, that same delighted smile on his face. He had a thick grey  
moustache, and was dressed in rather old fashioned attire what with a pair of suspenders and a yellow necktie.  
  
The age was evident on his face, Pepper might have guessed that his grandpa would be at least a few years older than him if he were still alive right now.  
  
_But if Grandpa was alive I wouldn't be here right now..._

"Uh--hi. Hello, Mayor Lewis." Finally, his voice came back, though it still sounded like it was hoarse. He stuck his hand out awkwardly and the mayor grasped it, shaking it something fierce.  
  
"Good to see you, Pepper! Good to see you!" The mayor had a deep, booming voice, the exact opposite of the mild mannered voice of his grandfather that he was used to hearing. He wasn't the biggest fan of loud voices, yet managed to keep his composure.  
  
Now Mayor Lewis stepped back, releasing Pepper's hand. He looked the young man up and down.  
  
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. I remember when you were no higher than that fence over there." he chuckled. "Your grandpa could never stop showing off the pictures your mom sent, he was always so fond of you."  
  
"More than you could imagine, Mr. Mayor." It wasn't something Pepper was proud of. Yes, he'd been the favorite grandkid and you'd think that was something he was fine with, and when he was young, he didn't mind it at all.  
  
It wasn't until he got older did he realize why he was the favorite.  
  
Because he was actually born when his parents were married.  
  
Cole, on the other hand, had not. He'd been born when Pepper's parents were still teenagers, and he supposed their grandpa had always resented him for causing his little girl to have to grow up so fast, to become a mother. That, and he'd never liked  
Pepper's father.

He'd only really fancied Pepper because he was like a mini version of his mother. Probably the only reason.  
  
But this was nothing he said out loud.  
  
"And you miss him, I'm sure. It has been a long time, hasn't it?" Lewis eyed the house behind them. "I remember, I kept coming over here after your grandfather passed...I kept expecting to see him at work at the chicken coop, or in the garden. He was one of  
my best friends, you know."  
  
"I know, sir. I kinda gathered that when I read the P.S. on the back of the letter he left me." Now it was Pepper's turn to get a good look at the house. Well, on the bright side it didn't look half as dilapidated as the rest of the farm did, but it was obvious it  
hadn't had a decent paint job in years. Not to mention he could clearly see just a few broken boards of wood.  
  
Too soon to tell if it would be a step-up from his old apartment. This place wouldn't have bad memories with it, at the very least.  
  
He turned back to the mayor.  
  
"This place...it really hasn't been touched since he died?" he questioned, Lewis shaking his head sadly.  
  
"Unfortunately, and it's a real shame, actually." He huffed, adjusting his hat. "This place was a beauty back in the day, I would've loved to just look after it myself, in fact I tried, trust me. But, I guess being mayor just takes up too much time. Lucky thing  
you're here now, huh?"  
  
"Hah, yeah. Real lucky." Pepper scratched at his head. "I just hope I can get it back to what it was...oh, hey, weren't there legal papers I had to sign or something?"  
  
At this, Lewis looked a little embarrassed. He opened his mouth in hesitation and held up a finger, giving off the all-common look of contemplation that Pepper was used to his mother or step-father doing.  
  
"Ah...yes. About those." he chuckled nervously. "I actually forgot those at home. But I'll tell you what, if you drop by later, I should have them ready for you by then. Plus, it'll give you a chance to settle in."  
  
"But can I do that? I mean, I'd feel better signing first--"  
  
"Pepper, listen. Signing those papers is just to verify that the place is yours, legally, the farm is already in your name." Lewis quickly reassured him. "Don't worry about it, it's not like I'm gonna place an eviction notice on you. Yet."  
  
At the startled expression on the young man's face, Lewis laughed and gave him a heavy pat on the shoulder.  
  
"I'm joking with you, Pepper, I'm sorry." His chuckled ceased, as Robin came back over. She hadn't felt it was her place to listen in on the conversation going on between the mayor and Pepper, so she'd taken to getting all of his bags onto the front porch so as to make his job of getting them inside a little easier.  
  
"Hey Mayor, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna be heading home now. I've got a couple of carpentry projects I need to look over." she said. "Are we all settled over here?"  
  
"For the most part, yes. Thanks again for helping out, Robin." Lewis nodded towards her with a smile. He glanced at his watch, blowing out a small sigh.  
  
"Goodness, 12:35 already..." he muttered under his breath. He glanced back up to Pepper. "I swear, I lose track of time so much more easily than I mean to. I still have a few stops to make myself."  
  
"Then I guess we'll both be on our way." Robin offered an earnest smile to Pepper as she passed by him. "It was nice meeting you Pepper, stop by for dinner sometime will you? I've been told in the past that I make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, if that's  
your sort of thing."  
  
"I appreciate the offer, Robin, but I think I'm gonna be a little busy the next few days." Pepper halfly-shurgged. "I kinda wanna get the farm cleared out before I do anything else."  
  
"Wise decision Pepper, but don't forget to make time for socializing. After all, a lot of the townspeople are very eager to meet you." Lewis's words caused a small flush of heat to come over Pepper's face. Just how many people had the mayor told about him, was it that small of a town?  
  
"But, there's no rush though, just whenever you get the time." Robin quickly added, noticing the sudden redness of the young man's cheeks. He inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sure you'd prefer to have your farm in some decent state before you invite people over."  
  
She gave a small wave before turning down the path once more.  
  
"Until then, I'll be on my way. I hope you'll take me up on that dinner offer, cuz I ain't taking no for an answer!" she called over her shoulder before disappearing through the thicket of trees. Pepper waved after her.  
  
"Ah--I'll think about it! Seeya Robin!" he called after her, and turned back to the mayor. He scuffled his foot in the dirt for a minute, awkwardly. "So, um...the legal papers. You said to just drop by later and sign 'em?"  
  
"Yup. It's no trouble, really, I'll be home all evening. " Lewis said. "Just follow the path, I don't think you'll have much trouble finding me. My house is the big white and blue one near the river, can't miss it."  
  
"Right--um, gotcha."  
  
The mayor gave a contented sigh, nodding as he looked at the house again. He shifted his gaze back to Pepper, looking him over again, and just smiled.  
  
"Well, I hope you like it here, Pepper." he said simply.  
  
"I hope I do too, sir." Was all Pepper could manage back at the older man, as he watched him make his leave off the farm. However, before passing over one of the broken fences, Lewis halted and turned around slightly, like he'd forgotten something.  
  
"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you;" he called back, causing Pepper to stop halfway up the porch steps. "If you find anything you wanna sell, just drop it off in that box over there. I usually come over to collect the goods, in case there might be a profit."  
  
"Drop things off in the box, visit you later to sign the papers. Got it, anything else I should know?"  
  
"Not at this moment. Just try to get settled in for now, and we'll see about introducing yourself to the townspeople sometime later this week." Lewis turned again, now walking through the thicket. "You have a good day now, Pepper!"  
  
"You too, sir!" Pepper sighed, turning his focus back to the bags on the porch. Mentally, he repeated the things the mayor had told him.  
  
_Dropping any goods off in the box, blue and white house, sign the papers..._  
  
Okay, not that hard to remember.  
  
He grabbed one of his bags, and looked at the door of the house. The door was still slightly ajar, so he tipped it open with his foot, grabbing onto another bag in the process. Slowly, he headed inside, and carefully, so as not to trip over any possible dents in the floor. The floorboards creaked under his feet, as he walked across them. He fumbled around for a light switch but only managed to find a hanging string from the ceiling.  
  
Setting a bag down, he yanked on the string and light filled the room. And if his reaction to the outside had been bad, he all but winced at the disarray of the room. The mayor had been over here tidying up, what tidying up had he done exactly? This place still looked like it was covered in cobwebs.  
  
Almost like a dusty old book that hadn't been pulled off the shelf for years.  
  
Still, he had to admit it was a little rustic. Definitely an upgrade from his apartment, no doubt. Maybe not as furnished or as polished, but it felt more real than that place had, with all it's plastic furnishings and toxic neighbors.  
  
Going down the hall, bags in hands again, he could feel the memories from his childhood coming back. He could almost see himself at the fireplace, listening to his grandpa tell him stories from his own childhood. Albeit the fact he was different then, he  
could still see it.  
  
He pushed open the bedroom door. It took a moment for him to enter, given that the last time he'd been in this room, his grandfather was ill...that memory made him wince a little. Still, he willed himself to enter, and was greeted by the sight of that old bed,  
coverless, and that same plaid chair over in the corner.  
  
Setting his things down, he walked over to the chair, running his hand over the arm of it, then sat down in it. He closed his eyes, almost hearing the fireplace crackling again. Almost seeing himself, Cole, his mother. This was where he'd gotten that  
letter...that was why he was here now.  
  
Opening his eyes, he heard the faint noise of a bird chirping outside his window and got up, heading over to investigate. A small feeling of happiness came over him as he peered out the dusty glass and saw the little blue bird perched on the tree outside. A sense of joy, perhaps. Content, for the first time, maybe?  
  
No, no he wasn't content yet. He wasn't gonna be content for a long time yet.  
  
For now, he just felt naturally happy, for the first time in a long time. Yeah, the house was a wreck, the farm was a wreck, and he might've bitten off more than he could chew...but this was all his.  
  
Why shouldn't he be happy?  
  
He had a life now. Even if it was still messy, he was gonna make the most of it.  
  
So, heading back to his bags, he picked up the first suitcase and threw it onto the bed before throwing it open to begin unpacking.

 

 


End file.
